by Donna Del Vecchio

Created on: October 21, 2009

How to survive? Hmmm. Send them to live with their grandparents as soon as they turn thirteen and then take them back at twenty years old. There are no tricks, secrets, or all the parenting classes in the world to prepare you for the teenage years.

After all, all of us were teenagers once. One moment you are believing in the tooth fairy and fairy tales, then all of a sudden, as a teenager realtity sets in. Peer pressure, middle school drama of trying to fit in, your hormones are racing, just watch "The Breakfast Club," and no matter what year it is we have all felt like them.

Teenagers needed to be cherished and know that we are there for them no matter what. They will, at this time of their lives have very hard decisions to make. Will they become followers or leaders? Will they have the self-confidence to not worry what others think about them? Will they stay on course and not worry what others are doing to become part of a crowd.

As a parent, surviving the teenage years is a difficult task. Only a moment ago, these young adults thought you were the world. A hug, a kiss, a "I love you," sheltered them from the world they lived in. Then, all of a sudden, no matter how much qualitity or quantity time you put in with them it did not seem to matter. After all, you possibly could not understand what they were feeling. Even if you are a young parent of a teenager you seem to them like an alien. A stranger, a person that possibility could not understand what they are feeling.

Think about? Did we not feel the same way towards our parents as we turned into "teenagers,"? They did not understand. How could they? They did not dress like us, listen to the same music, understand what we were going through.

Teenagers have not changed throughout the years. It is what we conceive of the thought of what a teenager is that has. Teenagers will always have self-doubt, self-esteem issues, confusion of what is happening to them. The best advice is to be there for them. Realize they will put up a fight to have their freedom. That is their right of passage. They, at this time of their lives, need us more than ever. As babies feeding and holding them could ease their worries, as toddlers a simple play date or playing a board game with them made them feel loved and secure. Yet, as teenagers, we must remember as parents that they are being handed a deck of cards they are not ready to deal with.

Love them, yell and discipline them when they do wrong, phrase them for every small accomplishment, and just be there for them the same way when they were babies and toddlers. Fuss over their "first steps" into the teenage years.

Most of all remember what it was like to be a teenager. As we age, many of us cannot remember what we ate for dinner yesterday. Yet, somehow we can remember our own teenage years and how hard it was for us.

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