by Angelique Yvonne

Created on: October 20, 2009   Last Updated: October 21, 2009

Sadly in most cases it is easier and extremely likely that an abused person will stay in a bad relationship. Although it may not make sense to anyone that hasn't ever experienced a bad relationship that was in fact abusive. Many key factors seem to point to an abusive relationship that the 'abusee' may or may not admit to. The abuser managed to control their victim not only by the abuse but by making them feel that they deserve what they get. My personal opinion is that this stems from something in the child's past, maybe and not always, their parents' fault. But single family homes for girls seem to cause more of the 'abusee' persona. often feeling that they deserve what they get or they have done something wrong, when in fact they have not.

Abusers normally have a bad temper over anything and a very short fuse, He or she, may also demean the person in public or in private pointing out everything bad that they have done, and neglecting to mention the good. All in all that cuts down on the 'abusee' mental health and when it does get violent the 'abusee' believes it is his or her own fault that this happened. And then the abuser becomes sorry. Both the abusee and the abuser have mental problems that should but probably won't get dealt with.

I am not saying that it is the 'abusees' fault, I have been there, in her shoes before. Mainly because I felt like this is what I deserved. It wasn't until my mother, I was 16, forced me out of it, and I had a child. I had plenty of bruises and couldn't say no to him, because I felt I was getting what I deserved and "I loved him" and when he was done being angry "He loved me" which later in life I learned was nothing more then a lie, a lie that I couldn't bear to deal with anymore. As sad as it may seem.

It took me 4 years to have self worth again. Did I allow him to beat me? Yes, I didn't have the strength to stand up for myself so my mother had to do it for me. But many girls aren't so lucky. They are over the age of 18 and don't have someone to take on that rule for them. Not all women will know what it is like to feel worthless and not be able to escape from someone you love. But it can happen to anyone, just some are more likely then others.

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