by Gerard Coulombe

Created on: October 20, 2009   Last Updated: October 23, 2009

Frankly, love may not have anything to do with liking another; liking someone may be the furthest thing from love. All of us like other people; it should go without saying that we are not in love with all those others.

It may be necessary to declare that love will not last if two people do not like each other. And as we get older, we might be more frequently inclined to say to another of either sex that we love them, which goes beyond liking them very much

Are there incontrovertible signs that one can read that affirm that another person likes you? There are signs if one is open to be liked and amenable to the notion. Not everyone is concerned with being liked on the one hand or disliked on the other.

Agreeable, enjoyable or satisfactory are words associated with "like" and it is within these constructs that this viewpoint discusses the signs or lack of them in sensing that one is "liked."

There is a hurtful game played by some children in elementary school where being liked or disliked matters because one is pleasurable and the other hurtful. Kids can read and understand the nuances as they are played out every day at school and later explored at home if a parent is listening and responsive.

Kids easily read signs that others, peers, particularly, do not like them for the moment, at least. Kids who appear not to dislike other kids act transitorily shifty at times; they show signs of positively not liking another one moment and flip the next.

A lot depends on the shifting sands of relative friendships based upon perceived needs and often prompted, invariably, by self-deceiving interpretations of how one or the other acts or fails to act at a given moment.

Reasons for disliking someone can be grouped according to one's personal likes and dislikes. There are social reasons. For example, one does not like another's friends or associates or one does not like another's destructive habits: alcohol, tobacco, offensive language.

There are moral, ethical or religious reasons sometimes involved in disliking someone. It could be as basic as a matter of faith where religion is concerned or for an ethical principle having to do with someone's basic regard for life as in being pro-choice rather than pro-life.

One can hold to diverging principles from another and safely consider the other a friend. But these are friendships based upon the social networks that are necessary to maintain so as to facilitate one another's ability to work together or socialize together.

Which is to say that it is possible for two people who hold diverging viewpoints on a wide range of subjects and who subscribe to substantively different social standards of behavior to feel some acceptance for another's inclination to be receptive.

The fact hat two people with different views on all kinds of topics can establish and maintain a relationship that is culturally regarded as friendly is not at all uncommon.

Neither one nor the other can consider liking another without embracing the notion that liking includes the possibility of desiring to maintain a friendship. Liking someone requires effort.

"I'm so miserable without you [that] it reminds me of home," says the $22.95 decorative wood sign among others displayed on a table in Silverman's Farm Shop in Easton CT. Liking or even disliking is hardly ever permanent. Don't shed a tear if the other does not like you. There are many "others" in a lifetime.

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