What exactly is a successful life? Is it only equated with monetary value? Is a successful life also synonymous with recognition from the world or are these two aspects only a part of the answer? And perhaps not the only one?
Western Society has a particular way of measuring success. It is about having. Having things, money, possessions. . It is also about being known. But not everyone who has gained these things believed that this is so. With all of his amassed fortunes, Rockefeller said that he felt the poor had it easier than the well to do.
"The poor still believe that money will bring happiness. The rich already know that it doesn't." Within his statement, there is the hint of his being unfulfilled. Can one be successful but ultimately dissatisfied?
The word "success" comes from the word, "successor". The etymology of the word, can be traced back to the 13thcentury and means "one who comes after", from the Latin word, "Successus". It is not until the 16thcentury, that the word takes on a new meaning. From then on, "Success" is connected with "happy outcome", and "accomplishment of a desired end". We would all appreciate these things in our lives. But, it is not always possible.
The trappings of a word like "success" is that it is often closely used with a word that is its' polar opposite.
"Failure".
This word is traced to 1225 from the old French word, Fallir, "to fail" and its' definitions "to miss, be lacking, not succeed" and can be found also from the Latin word, Fallereto"be lacking or defective". But it is not until the late 1600's; from Anglo-Norman origins that the word was first used as a noun and from "Fallier" is the word, which we use to describe someone who has not done well for themselves, "Failure".
No one from the oldest to the youngest wants to be considered a failure. This word is loaded with judgment like a proverbial finger pointing at us all. Yet, it seems that if we are to take the word "success" as it is used today, connected with gaining what we most desire, with that illusive "happy outcome" as it's result, not many of us have been able to measure up.
William James was a pioneering American Psychologist and Philosopher, whose godfather was Ralph Waldo Emerson, and whose brother was the famous writer, Henry James. He summed up his opinion of "success" to his friend, H.G. Wells in 1904, by saying; "The moral flabbiness born of the bitch-goddess success-That-with the squalid interpretation put on the word "success" is our national disease. "
So, perhaps success in the way we have previously defined it, is as much "illusion" as it is "illusory".
At times, the world rewards those who deserve reward. At other times, and more often that not, it fails to recognize those who are worthy of success. There are many examples of this. Vincent Van Gogh only sold 1 painting in his entire life, and it was bought by his brother. Emily Dickinson was not well known and was only published after her death, as was true of Sylvia Plath, and Franz Kafka. Many "successful" writers were only published posthumously. Mozart died penniless. .Edgar Allen Poe lived in abject poverty despite his work being published.
Sometimes, it appears that people, who have done little, are the ones who reap the spoils, whereas the ones who deserve happiness have achieved scant amounts.
Christopher and Dana Reeves, Michael Jackson, Judy Garland, Billie Holiday, Jacqueline Kennedy, Princess Diana, Martin Luther King, Jr, as well as countless others have had their lives filled with tragic outcomes. If we take the etymology dictionary's definition of success at face value, the above lives which do not contain the "happy outcome(s)", and who often did not within their lifetimes gain the " accomplishment(s) of a desired end" failed. Yet, when we think of these larger than life people we do believe they are successful. Perhaps we have, what they did not, the objectivity of time without them in it. Time in which was created a broader perspective of their gifts and the indelible impressions that their lives left upon us. There is something intrinsically "successful" about lives which are lived in spite of adversity.
Life is not fair. Hard work is important for its own sake, but it does not always give the desired result. Text books can be wrong. Businesses fail, marriages break up, people get sick and die. There are accidents; natural and man-made. There is war.
None of us are failures because we have not received what we have worked for. We are not failures if our lives have not always had happiness as a result.
Perhaps it is time to look at the word "success" from a broader perspective. If we are able to do that, then perhaps we will find gratitude, instead of a glass half empty. It is when we solely depend upon others to define our success or failure, that the inner meanings of "success" may elude us. In the healing of a relationship, holding down a job, being present for family and friends, triumphing over a disease or difficulty, standing up for what you believe in, all of these are actions of someone who has success. Success is about reaching beyond yourself, regardless of the outcome. "Nothing beats a failure, like a try" it has been said.
A successful life seems to have more than money and notoriety within it. The definitions point the way. Without Love, there is no real success, because this is what makes human beings truly happy. If you are worth millions but there is no love in it for you, are you successful? If you have "everything" in the world, but would rather be an unknown, instead of inside every tabloid, do you have success? And, if everyone else thinks of you as a success, but you do not feel that it is so, would you honestly want success then?
Maybe it has more to do with the every day ups and downs and how one navigates each winding road through life. And although, no one can always be happy, or receive every result that is desired, everyone can ask and answer these questions for themselves. Some answers are more readily available than we imagine.
To love, and to be loved, making a difference in another person's life, doing something for the good of it, taking pleasure in the every day, sharing what you have, living each day to the best of your ability, these are some of the things that are closer to re- defining what makes up a successful life. The impression that we leave behind in the memories and hearts of others, also holds a key. There is a place within each of us where success, cannot be taken away, and it has never been contingent on the wavering flame of finance or of fame.