by Gloria Edmonson Nelson

Created on: October 20, 2009   Last Updated: October 22, 2009

If your child is expelled from school, try to determine what happened from the teen, but you should always call the teacher or counselor to set up a meeting. Do not take the teens side of the story as truth because some teens will always blame the teacher or another student. It is always someone else's fault; never theirs. Then there are those who have been expelled inappropriately because the teacher was unable to determine who created the problem; so they will expel everyone nearby. Some students have been expelled because they are habitually late for class. The parents and student should be able to work this out since it is not a disciplinary problem.

Some teens will actually do things to be expelled so they can stay at home, watch television, hang in the mall, or find other things to do that are etc., or things that could possibly get them in trouble. There are those who would rather stay at home rather than be in school; they want to be out of school permanently.

After you have had the meeting and obtained both sides of the story; you must take steps to follow up. If possible, you should work together to come up with a plan to work on missed assignments as well as to correct the negligent behavior. For example, if the teen interrupted the class by fighting or cursing at the teacher; the teen owes the teacher an apology. If the teen has had problems with another student over a period of time; the student should be transferred to another class if it is not too late. If that cannot be accommodated; the teen should be seated away from the student. Sometimes there are personality conflicts with another student that cannot be solved.

When your teen gets expelled from school, it should not be taken lightly because it is a "double whammy" so to speak. The teen will get behind in the classes and will have to make them up, and it also labels the person. If there are repeated expelling, the peers will classify the teen a certain way which could cause the person to develop low self-esteem. Repeated expelling will then lead to a person eventually dropping out of school.

Parents must emphasize the importance of the purpose of the teens education as well as respecting the teacher and classmates. They should also reiterate the effect of being expelled and how playing catch-up creates additional problems. Although trust is important during the teen-age years, when they are not behaving in a mature fashion; you will have to constantly check on them to let them know that love will not allow you to be negligent about their schooling. Also tell them what your expectations are; for them to grow up to become a responsible person.

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