by Russ Vanheel

Created on: October 19, 2009   Last Updated: October 20, 2009

Ashes


I don't remember
Looks of longing burning holes
Into an already fractured heart
The smell of dead flesh smoldering causes
No reaction in those steely blue eyes staring
Wayward through the holes in me
Even when I turn my head just can't help
Seeing her as she captures me

I don't remember
Tender moments that were branded
And twitched the nerves in my soul
Deliberately dressing weathered gypsy moths
Into butterflies just newly emerged from
My innocence that was their cocoon
Couldn't conceive of those unearned wings
In spite of the powdered ashes in my hands

I can't forget
Sinking into such a warm embrace
That was salvation to all things lost in me
An ancient thirst that was finally quenched
By vines of grapes turned into wine as I
Believed our two hearts were beating as one
Regardless that for her it was never real but
Only my blood was spilled with those she picked

I forget to remember
She didn't love me, not once or even
For a ghost of those moments gone stillborn
That will forever haunt me in those steely eyes
And when I turn my head I can't help
Still seeing her as she captures me through
Those gaping holes that even now are smoldering
And will forever remind me that love is pain.

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