by Carmel Brulez

Created on: October 18, 2009   Last Updated: October 19, 2009

Living with a long-distance relationship is difficult, but it is worth it if you truly love each other and are compatible. Think of it as quality over quantity. But the relationship will not work if you go into it expecting it to go wrong or unwilling to work at it. You must both be willing to deal with it in the same way and look at it from the same angle. Sometimes this means being patient, other times it means making more effort.

It need not be lonely as you can see a lot of your friends and pursue hobbies. Presumably, you are at work all day most days and you may have family you spend a lot of time with. You need things to keep you busy and make the time go quicker, you also need things to talk about when you get together again. By being busy with friends you will get things in proportion rather than thinking that every time your partner is away it is the end of the World.

There are advantages to a long-distance relationships. Absence makes the heart grow fonder because we idealise the other person when we are apart. We remember their good points and forget their faults. We put them on a pedestal where we idolise them. The same happens when people speak of a loved one who has been dead for years, or a relationship they once had which went wrong and where they wish it had not ended. They speak of the good times and the person's virtues, totally overlooking the problems and the faults that may have caused the relationship to end.

There is something very exciting about longing to see your beloved and having to wait. Especially if you know they feel the same way. The build up and the anticipation as it grows until you are together again are intense and bring great happiness. Make sure you enjoy these times together. Do not start squabbling about petty things or wasting time on doing housework. If you are at home all day and your partner is away working get the home spotless for when they return. That way that will keep you busy while they are gone, and you do not have to do any of it when they are at home again.

There are a lot of ways you can keep the relationship alive and bubbly in-between with texts, emails and phone calls. An old fashioned romantic might send love letters. Whichever way you do it, a long-distance relationship with the right one is far better than a relationship with someone local who is an also-ran.

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