by Patty Marinelli

Created on: October 18, 2009

We have all been there. We have all been in a relationship that starts out with fireworks and soon the fireworks start to fizzle. One person has to put extra effort to get the attention from the other that used to come so easy. Its heartbreaking to the person receiving the cold shoulder, and uncomfortable to the person who has lost the loving feeling. The Righteous Brother's lyrics to the song You've Lost That Loving Feeling depicts the pain of the person realizing the love is fading.

You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips.
And there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips.

My mother always told me that proper young women do not call boys. This would drive me crazy and I would occasionally sneak to call my current love interest. Only to have to say hello to the mother of my love interest who obviously felt the same way as my mother. I believe this belief goes back to the day where the woman sits and waits for her suitor to call on her. If he were interested he would make the first step and any step after that. These beliefs changed with the woman's liberation movement. Women are now free to pursue or be the aggressor in a relationship. The excepted rules of who makes the first move have changed and have really caused confusion in the hearts of the love smitten.

He used to call you three to four times a day, now he goes days with out calling. He used to hang on your every word, but now he seems to not be interested. So in return you call him at home and leave him a message. You then call his cell phone that goes straight to voice mail. You then decide to text him, hoping maybe he just had his phone on silent and didn't notice that you had called. Multiple forms of communication lead to multiple forms of rejection.

Sadly, some people need multiple red flags to see that he just isn't that into you. When the phone calls stop, the invitations to special events stop, the need to be with his friends instead of you, are big red flags waving right under your nose.

Don't take it personally if he is no longer interested. Sure, it would be nice if he could be mature and just share his feelings with you. Unfortunately, this communication is the thing a man fears the most. I feel that fear of confrontations is the root of the cold shoulder. If you find yourself in this position, don't let it crush you. You will one day find the man who doesn't find it a chore to share his time with you.

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