by Natalia Jones

Created on: October 18, 2009   Last Updated: November 27, 2009

Most parents immediately begin to worry that their child is headed for a life of crime after their first shoplifting offense, but it may not be as serious as you think. Even teens who show no other signs of delinquency can try their hand at shoplifting, so the somewhat sudden outlaw behavior can be very confusing for the average parent.

The first thing parents need to acknowledge is that shoplifting is more or less a rite of passage for many otherwise well-adjusted teens. Teens may shoplift for one of many reasons.

Why do Teens Shoplift?

Peer pressure is probably the number one reason. Teens can feel immensely obligated to go with the grain and if they think that this act will make them fit in, they may do it even though they know it is wrong. Others try shoplifting to get attention that they may not be getting at home. Some teens shoplift simply to get things they can't afford and still others may find that shoplifting is an act of rebellion against other problem areas in their lives.

What to do if your Teen has Been Caught Shoplifting

You may be tempted to ground your teen until their twenty-first birthday for committing an act that they know fully well is not only morally wrong, but is also an actual criminal offense, but that may not be the best course of action. The following tips will help you to handle this difficult situation with poise.

Don't Lose Your Cool

It can be difficult to remain calm when you are put in an embarrassing situation and you know for a fact that your child should know better, but flying off the handle will only make an already bad situation worse. Listen to all sides of the story and try to stay open minded.

Take Some Time to Think

Now that you have managed to keep your cool at the scene of the crime or at the station, carry it through for at least the next few hours. Don't confront your child when you are still very angry as you may say the wrong things. Instead let them know that you'll have a discussion about it later and they can take the time to think about what they have done, because that's what you'll be doing.

Lay Down the Law

When you have examined the situation with a clear head and you recognize that your child may simply be acting out you can respond accordingly. Remember that the punishment must match the crime to be effective, so the consequences should be severe enough to send a strong message, but not so harsh that they think all is lost anyway so they may as well rebel even harder. Unsupervised trips to the mall may be out of the question for a predetermined length of time and whatever else you decide is appropriate.

Be Loving and Supportive

Show your child that they are still loved. It is important to reinforce this fact, because your teenager may be experiencing feelings of shame and regret and may not know how to get back in your good books. Let them know that although they disappointed you by their actions you will always love them very much.

Know Your Child's Friends

It is important to know who your child is spending time with as they can have a big influence on their behavior. Ask questions about new faces and observe for yourself by encouraging them to invite friends to come home for dinner or just to relax after school.

Shoplifting is serious, but most teens simply experiment with it for the thrill or as a result of peer pressure, never really believing they will get caught. As a parent, you should not trivialize the act, but you should also know that your teen probably won't be doing it again.

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