by Vilie Farah

Created on: October 18, 2009   Last Updated: December 18, 2009

The passage-way still carries the signs of the big undressing contest that took place there some time ago. A bra hangs on the back of a chair. One stiletto shoe rests peacefully over a male shirt. Two intertwined bodies move passionately in complete unison. The body of your partner and the body of the intruder in your relationship…

Such images remain stuck in one’s mind as painful, spiritual wounds.

Infidelity causes in extreme pain and ruins trust in a relationship. Despite the apologies and explanations, a person who has been betrayed would need significant amount of time to regain trust… if this is ever possible.

Can a cheater be trusted? Or once a cheater, always a cheater?

BETRAYAL AND PSYCHOLOGY
People, who have experienced betrayal, will have extreme difficulty rebuilding trust and belief in a partner. The trauma from the experience is usually so intense that the healing process is slow and complex.

Even if a cheating partner decides to work hard on monogamy, chances are that trust will never be restored.

The question should be rephrased. Once a cheater, always a cheater is not the correct way to describe the attitude of most towards cheating. Even if a cheater never again falls in the trap of betrayal, he or she would still carry the word 'cheater' printed in large red letters over the forehead.

RELATIONSHIPS AND TRUST
One of the biggest challenges of a relationship is building trust.. Everyone has been lied to, everyone has experienced one of those devastating relationships that turn the heart to ashes.

Being able to trust another human being becomes increasingly difficult as we age and gain experience. Trust means dependence. Trust signifies opening one's heart and allowing someone else to take control. To deserve trust, a partner usually has to try hard and to work on maintaining this fragile but extremely important component of a relationship.

What happens once trust is broken? A partner, who has been lied to will find difficulty believing that betrayal will never occur again. Even if a cheater understands the massive impacts of the mistake done, he or she will have to sweat hard to prove that the mistake will never be repeated.

ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER?
Most people who have been cheated on, believe that it could happen again. It is part of human psychology to become suspicious, once subjected to deception. Betrayal brings about pain, mistrust, confidence problems and suffering. Such powerful feelings remain over time, even if subtle and partially forgotten.

Even a single act of trust trampling can be detrimental. A label, especially a powerful label as 'cheater' cannot be rubbed out right away. Trust has been broken. The most valuable part of the magic happening between two people in love is missing.

The image of a cheating partner will never be erased. Tons of fidelity evidence has to pile up over the picture of the two intertwined bodies so that it is stacked deep on the back shelves of the memory. And even then, a cheater might still remain simply a cheater.

Once a cheater always a cheater? It really depends on the situation, the couple, past history of the relationship, type of cheating taking place. A cheater can someday find forgiveness and peace of mind but the path is long and winding.

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