by Justin Mccauley

Created on: October 18, 2009

Definition of a bank:

An establishment for receiving, keeping, lending, or, sometimes, issuing money, and making easier the exchange of funds by checks, notes, etc.

Definition of industry:

Skill or cleverness

Earnest, steady effort; constant diligence in or application to work

Any particular branch of productive, esp. manufacturing, enterprise i.e. the bank industry

Well forgive me for being a tad precious about the above but hasn't the banking industry failed the definitions of its own existence and should therefore disappear up its own proverbial. Oh, how many of us wish that? But if we look at it from a different point of view perhaps they do meet the criteria.

The banking industry has shown an innate ability to receive. It's got the hand that just keeps taking. Government bail outs, tax concessions, obscene bonuses for ridiculous decisions, the list goes on. They are like the supposed street beggar who has his hand out for a dime then goes back to his house that he manages to keep based on the charity of others.

Who invented the long lunch? It wasn't the guys on the factory floor. Who manages to seal a deal over a game of golf and who pays for it? Wish I could get a bonus for selling something to someone whose check bounces. Wish I could bankrupt a whole nation (Iceland) and still sleep at night.

Oh perhaps I was a bit hasty in my definition of failure because the banking industry ARE pretty good at 'keeping' as well. Keeping their jobs while all around are losing theirs. They are keeping the world saddled with public debt for generations to come because share price was less about value and more about turnover.

Oh and I forgot. They do allow the easy exchange of funds by checks and notes. All of it one way and none of it back to us.

So in hindsight, they do hold up to the definition of a bank, just not the definition they would want or expect.

Now the definition of 'industry'. Mmm 'skill or cleverness'. Managing to maintain your business while the rest of the world loses theirs. Well they tick those boxes. Earnestly pursuing bonus payments with the steady effort of an inter-galactic rocket. Well they managed that too. 'Constant diligence', well they constantly and diligently ensured that their own nest was feathered with the down from the most sumptuous golden goose.

And finally 'productive', managing to fabricate and manufacture profits out of thin air. A veritable skill if ever there was one.

So when I say they failed the definition of the word banking industry, it all depends on which way you look at it. If you're still managing to eat at the top table while those around are checking out garbage bins. If you're still driving to work whilst others are walking or taking the bus. If you're kids are still at private school while others can't even by them shoes to go in. Then you're most probably still working for a bank and not in the motor car industry.

Isn't it ironic that while the banks spend fortunes in security to keep the criminals out, most of the crooks are already inside.

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