by Jean Sidden

Created on: October 17, 2009

There is no better time to re evaluate your relationship with a boss you hate than when you are resigning. Hindsight seems to make everything a bit rosier. The boss you hated working for was probably at least 40% of your reason for going elsewhere, the other 60% being too much work, too little pay and no raise in sight. But it doesn't matter now; you're moving on.

However, these days you may not have the luxury to leave a job you dislike. Times are hard and jobs are few and far between. You may need to ride out the recession and make the best of it. These circumstances also present a perfect time for re evaluation and possibly learning to love the job you're with.

Often re evaluating a bad boss constitutes a shift in perspective. But managers don't make that easy for us. Despite our efforts to see things differently they will hang over us and micro manage, driving us crazy with their picky needs. They will still take that accusatory tone when critiquing our work as if we meant to do things wrong. They insist on appearing at our desk as we're leaving and plop down a ream of new work to be done with a deadline of mid morning the following day. How do we learn to love them?

Observe your boss during departmental celebrations like birthday parties and yearly anniversaries. Are they personable and interested in their staff as people? Do they take a tone that sounds more like a human being and less like a boss? This may be a very nice person hiding under what they perceive being a boss is. Many people are promoted to managerial positions and have no idea of how to be a manager. This may be what happened to your boss.

If you are present in meetings where your boss acts as facilitator watch how other managers relate to him or her. Is your boss under the thumb of another manager who is higher up in the company food chain? Remember there is a boss supervising your boss and more than likely your boss is feeling the same pressure you feel. Ask yourself if you would want to take on the responsibility your boss has. He or she may be experiencing the same work dynamic you are: too much work, too little pay and no raise in sight. Rather than condemning your boss try to empathize with them.

Have you noticed that after a long vacation your boss comes back in a better mood with spirits lifted? This may be someone for whom works takes its toll after a lengthy period. We all know what that feels like. Try to soak up as much of your boss's good mood as you possibly can before he or she reverts. Seal it in your memory for later when your boss becomes that creature you hate. This person is like you; their work life is full of stress and it affects their disposition.

Much of the reason we hate our bosses is because we think they hate us. Our insecurity about our own work puts us on the defensive. Try taking a more up front approach when you give your boss work. Ask for their feedback openly and take what they have to say in a positive way. This is often the key to mending a seemingly broken relationship with your boss and they will appreciate your effort. The outcome for you is to forge new communication with them and, as a result, learn to at least meet them half way.

Changing the perspective you have of any individual isn't easy. If you are coasting in a job because the timing is not right for you to leave, it will be important for you to take action to relieve a bad situation. Re evaluating your boss with this new perspective in mind will make your workdays more pleasant and easier to get through.

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