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Any story or incident that involves a child, is enough to convince even the most fastidious mother that she's completely inept, and that her children should be rescued from her inability to control every situation. It isn't until later when we start to compare notes, we realize that no matter how hard we try, children have their own will and their bodies have their own timetables that we aren't privy to. And it always seems to be more evident when we drag them into grocery stores. Two situations with my children stick out in my memory, and both involve bodily injury.

The first happened when my son was a toddler. It was nearly nap time when we arrived at the store, and he was agitated. I placed him in the child's seat of the shopping cart while my husband and I toured the aisles and picked up what we needed. After a while he calmed down and even fell asleep. When we got into the long line at the check out lane, I noticed how cute he looked with his head resting on his curled arms. I smiled and bent down to kiss the back of his head. WHAM! He sat up. And split my top lip wide open.

The pain just exploded, and I bled like he cut an artery. The store manager ran over with a box of tissues, and I tried to stem the flow. It was bad. I took one tissue after another. It ran into my mouth, and down my chin, and even dripped off Eddie's head. I even left spots on the floor. Ed laughed and laughed. And my lip throbbed.

The second incident happened on an Easter Saturday. My eight year old daughter, Becki, and I, stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few items for our dinner the next day. The same manager saw us enter. She hurried over, wishing us a Happy Easter, and presenting Becki a chocolate Easter egg. Becki thanked her, and stripped away the foil. She screamed with the first bite. Needless to say I had her to the only emergency dentist I could find within an hour.

As bad as either situation was, I will still give the honors of the most horrific visit to a grocery store to my sister-in-law. Her twin boys were about six at the time, and were angry because she brought them with her to the store. The entire trip, she said was a nightmare. They insisted on something from every snack food display they passed. They argued with her because they wanted to be with their friends, and they argued with each other. They taunted her, taking turns running off. She forced them back in line, hoping to have the situation finally under control. And then like they had it planned, they charged off together, but in opposite directions. When she got them back at her side, they began to battle over who would push the cart, pulling it back and forth between them, until they flipped it.

Learn more about this author, Jude Coyle.
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