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Humor: Dealing with squirrels

by Marcy Buzzelli

Created on: October 16, 2009

Little children love to watch them scamper across the ground. Exterminators, hoping to earn a living, love to live trap them in annoyed homeowner's attics. Obviously, I am talking about that cute little squirrel with the fluffy tail or that obnoxious nuisance that causes havoc inside a house. That animal that loves to save acorns for a winter meal can be either loved or hated depending on your point of view. Children, and some citified adults, confuse the speedy little chipmunk with the more agile squirrel. Actually, they are both cute to watch as well as being a major nuisance.

Everyone has at one time or another probably enjoyed watching several squirrels seemingly play tag with each other leaping from tree branch to tree branch. It really is amazing to watch these acrobatic animals put on an aerial circus. If there is a bird feeder any place near the trees, you can be sure that the darling little squirrel will find a way to reach the feeder and empty it in about 30 seconds! Chipmunks, which almost look like miniature squirrels, have the same knack of being able to clean out a feeder in no time at all. In children's books, squirrels and chipmunks are always depicted as lovable and cuddly.

Any homeowner, however, who has ever had to cope with the destruction that a squirrel or chipmunk can do to an attic, has a different viewpoint and lacks compassion for these two not-so-sweet rodents! Squirrels and chipmunks like to chew, and an attic full of boxes must look like paradise to them. The homeowner, however, is never happy to hear the pitter-patter of little animal feet overhead! Although squirrels can get into an attic, it seems that some of them cannot then remember the way out. At this point, the homeowner starts to worry about something more dangerous in the attic that the squirrel might chew since electrical wires do not make a tasty meal. After a frantic call to the exterminator, the homeowner waits not too patiently for the live trapper to arrive.

Exterminators who live trap always seem to be slow moving, gentle souls who carry around non-threatening peanut butter jars. After a cage is baited, it will only be an hour or two before the invading animal is removed from the attic and relocated 10 miles down the road, hopefully never to return. Unfortunately, this is not the end of the problem. Squirrels and chipmunks have a lot of friends and relatives who also have probably been invited to a party in the homeowner's attic. Live trappers are brave people, though, and have an endless supply of peanut butter to entice the little critters out of the homes where they are not wanted. After holes have been filled to keep future unwanted guests out of the attic, and a check written for several hundreds of dollars, these expensive uninvited guest are on their way to find another unlucky home to invade.


Learn more about this author, Marcy Buzzelli.
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