by Rachel Martin

Created on: February 13, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

Potty training a toddler is very different from potty training a stubborn toddler. If you know that your child knows what to do and where to do it but they choose not to, then you may have a stubborn toddler on your hands. It is important to differentiate between a stubborn child and one who just isn't ready to be potty trained.

Any child under the age of two years who resists using the bathroom probably is not ready. Whether they are scared of the toilet, can't master the motor skills to use it, or just can't comprehend the need to use it, any child under the age of two should not be pushed unless they show signs or interest in being potty trained. Even between the ages of two and three, a child may resist for a variety of reasons.

If you are still struggling with potty training your child and he or she is close to turning four years old, you may be dealing with a stubborn child. Here are a few tips to encourage your child to potty train.

1. Take away diapers. Throw them out so you are not tempted to put them back on your child unless it is time to sleep. Explain to your child that there are no more diapers and have them help you throw them away.

2. Set a timer. Set your stove timer or stop watch to beep every 10, 15 or 20 minutes. Let your child know that when he hears the beep its "potty time". Make this time a fun time with special treats to eat only while he or she is on the potty and special books that your child chose that can only be read in the bathroom.

3. Reward obedience. My daughter loved to hear me sing her praises. When she went on the toilet she received stickers, candy and lots of hugs and kisses.

4. Recognize the difference between and accident and defiance. Children are going to have accidents; they will get busy playing and forget. You can recognize defiance in a child when he or she has showed that they know when to use the toilet and purposefully dirty themselves. If you have asked your child when they are doing the "potty dance" if they have to go and they say no, then two minutes later they are dirty, they chose to lie and play instead. This is defiance. Some children will purposefully dirty themselves to get a response. For other children, it is a battle of the wills, and he or she knows they will put up a fight to the very end. All of these behaviors fall under a defiant attitude. In these instances, you have to be careful on how to manage your child. Discipline is necessary, but you are already walking a fine line. One bad experience on

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