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I am not so old that I don't recall the grand Valentine's Days of the past. I have fleeting memories of candle lit dinners in 10 table bistros, where the waiters were just arrogant enough to make the experience seem exotic. I remember returning from the coffee shop to find two dozen red roses on my desk at work. I remember going to the trouble to find a nail polish to match my new red suit. I remember the excitement and anxiety over whether or not tonight would be the night he would ask "The Question".

Wow, am I glad that is over. This year, I will most likely spend Valentine's Day shoveling the foot of snow that is expected to fall over my northeastern town. I will go to the trouble of cooking my family's favorite dinner I've gotten to where I can prepare it in 20 minutes flat. My daughter is begging for cake. So, we will spend the afternoon baking and frosting a four-layer (yes, she wants four layers) masterpiece. And it's Wednesday, so that means mid-week laundry.

My husband and I will give each other cards. We might even take the time to write a personal note inside. I will receive the obligatory box of chocolates. And after spending 30 minutes calculating how many pieces I can eat each day without going over my "points" allowance, I will promptly eat half the box. And maybe, just maybe, we will spend an hour or so together, at the kitchen counter, reading e-mails and news on our respective laptops, before one of us gives up the ghost and goes to bed.

Oh, the freedom of low expectations. You see, when you tell someone (almost) everyday that you love them and are relatively happy with your life, setting an entire day aside to do so seems superfluous. No, everyday is not ideal. It is life, after all. But when you finally get to the point where you are in a secure, loving relationship, Valentine's Day starts to seem ridiculous.

Would I love it if my husband would arrange for a three (or seven, or ten) day getaway to some fabulous destination, combining warm weather, archaeological ruins and friendly caf's in village squares? Of course I would. Would I agonize the entire time over whether or not the dogs were being walked enough, my kid was going to bed on time and the house wasn't burning down? Yes. You see, I'm just not in a romantic place right now. I'm too caught up in life to dream about how it could have been or might be some day. And I'm okay with that.

I would make one request, though. I would ask that in lieu of spending $100 or more on flowers, have a

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