by Shen-Li Lee

Created on: October 15, 2009

Since I was a child I have had a phobia about giving birth. The very idea of squeezing out a baby made me weak at the knees and queasy in the stomach. I would often ask other mothers what it was like to give birth. One of the most common replies ran something along the lines of: "It was very painful but once you see your baby, you forget all about the pain."

When I was pregnant with my first child, I heard two very different accounts from my mother in law and my mother.

According to my mother in law, giving birth was like going to the toilet and having a big poop. She didn't believe in epidurals or inductions. "Let it happen naturally," was always her motto. A formidable woman, my mother in law gave birth to her first baby (my husband) in six hours. It was quite a feat when you consider the fact that my husband was a very large baby, in breech position, and my mother in law delivered him naturally.

According to my mother, giving birth was the most agonising pain she had ever endured. When she was in hospital with me, she kept having flash backs of delivering my brother, and she had never been more scared in her life. Obviously she couldn't "forget all about the pain".

Many friends who had had babies before me had a wealth of advice to offer as well. Some were dead set against having an epidural and others were all for it. Given the mixed set of advice I received, I left myself open to the option but opted to avoid it if at all possible. I confess I was also under a little pressure to avoid taking the epidural since my only two supporters at the hospital - my husband and my mother in law - were against the idea.

The day before my due date, the doctor checked my cervix and informed us that my baby was going to be late. With a tightly closed cervix and hardly any descent of the baby, he expressed grave doubts that my baby would arrive naturally within the next two weeks. His recommendation was to have an induction. Because my baby was large, he advised against waiting another two weeks as it would increase my likelihood of requiring a caesarean section. Although our initial desire was to avoid an induction, we heeded the doctor's advice.

Despite having an induction, it took some 41 hours after the insertion of the pill before my baby was born. During which time, my resolve not to have an epidural crumbled into nothingness and I was begging for an anaesthetist between body wrecking gasps of pain. Throw in the fact that I was on a liquid diet since my last meal

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