by Rob DeVore

Created on: October 15, 2009   Last Updated: October 17, 2009

Are we as humans meant to be in long term relationships?

There's something that I've struggled with for a long time. As someone who embraces logic as an important and necessary way of making sense out of life, why do illogical things appeal to us a humans? Is it due to society? Is it from religious teachings? Is it part of keeping up with the Jones's?

This struggle is the question of whether we as humans are meant to be with a significant other for a long period of time,short period of time, or do we just naturally drift from person to person, going through periods of love and happiness, sadness and struggle as our ever changing needs dictate?

It seems to make sense to me that humans, in a nutshell, are mostly intelligent mammals. Most others in the animal kingdom don't select lifetime mates. Why does it seem that we go against needs, desires, wants? Why do we have emotions like heartache, love, jealousy?

Why is it then that when we ARE in love and involved in a mutually satisfying relationship, that it is able to fall apart? When we find someone and are bonded together by common interests, humor, chemistry and the 7 Keys that are instrumental in a successful relationship, how can it possibly end in tragedy and sadness? Why is it that we have a need to have a partner?

Surprisingly enough, one day, I stumbled on a New Jersey divorce attorney's website. It was chock full of everything that I had surmised about being in a successful relationship. You can find this interesting wealth of information here -
http://www.userniche.com/LoveAndDivorce/ASP/UserNich eMainPage.asp?ID=2

One thing that I found was the "7 Keys to a good relationship". It struck a chord with me that makes sense. Despite having all of these things in my last relationship, and it still failed, I've lost faith in the romantic fantasy that I've always wanted and am settling for the life spent alone. It's just not worth the pain that you feel after it goes down the tubes.

Here are the 7 Keys;

Maturity a person' s ability to interact with other people and achieve solutions to problems; Relational Positioning the relative position on the continuum of maturity that each partner in a relationship to the other partner of the relationship; Chemistry a biological physical attraction and emotional body language that draws you to the other person; Compatibility similar likes and dislikes, with no major incompatibilities (Deal Breakers), along with the capacity to move over time into common directions; Equity since

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