by Ruthie Lancaster

Created on: October 15, 2009

Columbus Day

"I beg your pardon!" My voice dripped icicles. "What do you mean I won't be paid for Columbus Day?"

My boss and best friend, Whats-Her-Name heaved a weary sigh as she explained. "You are part-time help, Ruthie. The county does not pay part-time help for the holidays..."

"I understand that perfectly and have accepted it...unfair though it is considering the real contribution I make around here; " I interrupted. "But surely that only pertains to real holidays like Christmas or the 4th of July. You can't seriously mean the library is going to be closed Columbus Day?"

"I'm glad you understand. You will have to make your contribution of paper clip chains on your own time." Whats-Her-Name said smugly.

"But I don't understand! What holiday is going to cost me a days pay next...Ground Hog Day?" I wailed.

"How selfish can you be? I happen to need a paid holiday!"

Whats-Her-Name was pale with suppressed emotion; then she added as an afterthought. "Plus we have to honor that guy...uh... you know who I mean...the one who discovered America on October 12, 1492."

"Oh...sure! You must be talking about that Italian who lived in Portugal, got a job as a Spanish sailor and went off to find the Indies but fell over Cuba and San Salvador instead." I agreed acidly. "We've had nothing but trouble with both those places ever since; plus a few hundred years later he is costing me a days pay."

"Hmmmmm...I hadn't thought of it in that light. He was a real troublemaker, wasn't he." Whats-Her-Name's brow furrowed in thought; then she brightened, "Oh, well! Too late to do anything about it now."

After sullenly brooding for a few moments, I asked Whats-Her-Name, "If we are going to honor someone for not finding America, why don't we have a "Vespucci Day"? At least he tripped over the South American continent while trying to find the Indies in 1501."

"For the same reason both continents are named America." Said Whats-Her-Name wisely. Vespucci is too hard to pronounce and little kids would have too much fun with it."

"I see what you mean. The country could lose even more dignity than it already has." I said, enlightened. "But how come we don't have a "Viking Day"? Leif Erikson discovered Newfoundland in the year 1000. At least, that is on the same continent that is cheating me out of a days pay."

"I don't think we are supposed to honor people who list raping, looting and pillaging on their occupational resumes. Besides, I don't think they were looking for America when they found it either." Whats-Her-Name said thoughtfully.

"In that case we ought to just have a Native American Day. They knew where America was all along." I said in exasperation.

"I don't think so. It seems to me that the Indians migrated here from Asia in prehistoric time." My friend disagreed.

"Asian Day?" We consider the idea thoughtfully. Then shook our heads. Nah! There aren't enough hours in the week for me to make up for that many unpaid holidays.

THE END

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