by Mandy Kloppers

Created on: October 14, 2009

Errors in Thinking

Men are disturbed not by things but by the view they take of them - Epicetus

Many of us aren't even aware of the automatic negative thoughts we have swirling around in our heads. They are formed and influenced by our childhoods, life experiences and beliefs. It's time to question their validity and check for evidence that supports them. Usually you will find there isn't much evidence to support negative thoughts (such as: I am not good enough) and there will be ample examples that refute this thought. Do you sometimes think in any of the ways listed below? If you do, it's time to look at more effective, helpful ways of viewing the world. First let's identify the ways in which we all possess errors in our thinking:

Negative Filtering

This is when you focus on the negative aspects and exclude all other evidence. An example: My last partner was horrible therefore I am not going to date again because future partners will probably also hurt my feelings/ make me feel unimportant/cheat on me.

Your brain will be tuned into looking for negative behaviours that confirm your negative filtering.

Don't do it! Look at the positives too. No one is all bad. There have to be some redeeming features or you would never have persisted with past relationships or fallen in love with your ex in the first place.

Personalising

This thinking involves blaming yourself for circumstances that are not your fault/responsibility. An example: Betty and John didn't enjoy the party I threw and I should have paid them more attention as then they would have had a good time.

This is not entirely true. Betty and John are adults and it is also their responsibility to chat to other people and make the most of the party.

Many things will have nothing to do with you personally. The more you are inclined to take responsibility for situations that are not entirely under your control, the more you will be likely to suffer from depression and low self esteem. Let it go.

Should Statements

Replace the word should with could and stop putting pressure on yourself. Since when are actions SO important that you MUST do them? Is it a life threatening situation?

When you use words like should, must, got to, have to you place unnecessary pressure/stress on yourself. Rather, set aside time and make sure that you manage your schedule efficiently.

Negative Prediction

Imagining a negative outcome to an event/situation that hasn't yet happened. No one can predict the future. Usually negative

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