by Jester

Created on: October 14, 2009

Cats bring home live prey simply because it's so much more exciting than bringing home dead prey. When we bring home dead prey, we find that our humans are at best disgusted. But, when we bring home live prey, they get downright hysterical.

I'm an indoor cat, so I don't have any experience bringing prey, live or otherwise, into the house. It's not like I ever have an opportunity to snatch a rabbit from the lawn on a trip home from the vet. No, I have to wait for the prey to come to me. And believe me, where I live in the Northeast, it can be a long wait between November and March.

To practice my hunting skills, I often sit in the windowsill on bright, sunny days watching the birds flit from branch to branch in the trees outside my house. I do this because I've seen ads on TV where birds fly into windows and fall to the ground. I think if this were to happen right in front of me, I could just stick my little paw under the window, grab the dazed bird and bring it into the house. But it never happens. The birds never even come close to the window. Maybe if my humans were to wash the windows once in awhile I'd be a more successful hunter. Since I am unable to catch live prey, I've never learned how to can mice or put up squirrel preserves with which to stock the pantry in order to get through the long, cold Northeast winter. But I digress.

Humans believe that cats who bring home live prey are doing so to provide a gift offering. Please. As if every day were Christmas in a cat's mind. If it were true that cats offer live prey as a gift, wouldn't it be wrapped in bright, shiny paper and tied with a nice, big bow? And wouldn't the package have a name tag? How many cats have you seen coming down the chimney in July yelling, "Ho. Ho. Ho. Here's a little sparrow for Susie."

The real reason cats bring home live prey is to prove a point to their humans. The cats I've spoken with recently are a bit hurt when their humans compare them to some distant big-cat cousin featured on Animal Planet. I, for one, am sick of hearing "Hey! Watch this! There's your cousin the lion on the plains of the Serengeti taking down an antelope." Oh sure, bringing home a small lizard or running around the house with a faux fur mouse isn't nearly as impressive as taking down an antelope on the open plains of the Serengeti, but at least we're getting some exercise instead of just sitting on the couch watching TV.

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