by Paula A

Created on: February 13, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Trust is something most people take for granted unless they have learnt otherwise and been hurt in some way.

Survivors of abuse either trust immediately or they don't trust at all, this can lead to a very lonely place and it is only when you learn not everyone is like your abuser that you can start to move on and trust again.

It is extremely difficult when you have been so hurt by a person you should have been able to trust, it takes away your confidence not only in yourself but also others around you. You watch them, listen to what they say and don't know if you cal allow yourself to believe in them. What if it all goes horribly wrong again, what if they are just the other person, what if they hurt you again?

Before you can trust anyone else you have to learn to trust yourself and to believe in yourself, you have to know that you were not to blame for what happened to you and let go of the guilt you carry around with you.

When you know you can really trust yourself you won't have to try to fond someone else you can rely on to look after you.

When we are small children we give ourselves over to our parents without even thinking about it, it is an unconscious decision, they will care for us and make sure we are safe, this is exactly how it should be and if we have good caring parents this is what they do for us. As we get older we need to start to take care of ourselves, we know our parents are there for us and if we need help, guidance we can ask for it. If however we do have parents who are nurturing and take care of us we have a different start in life. It is hard to work out who we can trust, and we search for someone to look after us, emotionally and physically.

It is my belief this is where the problem starts because we are so desperate to feel loved, wanted and need we put out trust in the first person who shows an interest in us. This person can take advantage because we are so needy, we allow them to abuse us because we are too afraid and may not even realise what is happening until they have made us so reliant on them it is hard to escape.

Most people in this situation are so scared of being on their own they would rather stay in an abusive relationship than to walk away, they cannot handle being out in the world because they don't know how to look after themselves.

How often have we read about people who have taken so much because they didn't know what else to do, they didn't know there is help out there and that it's alright to be on your own, you can survive

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>