by Tian Li

Created on: October 14, 2009

This past year has been a rough one for many people. Taxes, recession, loss of loved ones, traumatic occurrences, things that should not happen to good hardworking people. Such events can really make a person feel completely helpless and not in control of anything. It's quite depressing. I used to often wonder how is someone ever supposed to get over such things? There are two main ways I have seen people go through. The first is to let the pain devour a person from within and makes one want to go hide in a corner/under a bed/closet/gas station restroom/low shelf at walmart forever. I've personally tried the first method; not effective. The second coping mechanism is that the event pushes a person towards living a meaningful life. Meaningful is purposely vague. Don't waste time thinking about what should and should not happen in life. It is just the way life is. The manner in which a person handles it is what makes all the difference.

Most people do not believe in themselves. Sadly, that's the truth. Everyone has self doubts and insecurities. Society teaches us that we should have moral guidelines and to have shame. Shame is basically a set of boundaries which we are taught as the safe ways to live life. It binds and holds us down. I am not sure when it happened but I have since lost that. Being shameless and being heartless are two different things. I don't live life in the eyes of other ppl but I don't want to hurt anyone with my actions. Shamelessness to me means that I believe in what I do and what I'm trying to do. Nothing anyone says or thinks is going to affect my ambition and drive. It is not okay for people to be purposely cruel, mean, act without regard for ppl's feelings, be arrogant selfish princesses/divas. There is no reason for anyone to ever act that they are superior to anyone else. That's a relationship and career killer. Everyone is the same regardless.

People don't generally find life worth living, you have to make it worth living. No one is ever going to plop anything down in ur lap. It's not even just about being lucky. Anyone will get lucky if he/she works 15 hrs a day 7 days a week.

I have had the honor and the privilege to work with and meet many influential people. About 95% of them are very nice, modest, hardworking people. This past week I had the opportunity to work closely with Mary J Blige and Tyler Perry. I asked myself how the hell did I get here?! To be serenaded by MJB from 6 feet away live numerous times and have her look at you in the eye was unreal. That woman is a survivor. I've admired her for many years since childhood. Had to pinch myself about 1000 times. Tyler Perry is the most amazing person I have ever met hands down. To go from sleeping on park benches and being homeless to building an empire sounds like a fairytale. But it isn't. These things really happen because people make it happen.

It's your life. Live it with people who are alive. It tends to be contagious.

I am sharing these experiences because I want to help to inspire people to go for their dreams and to believe in themselves. I'm just a girl who was born in china on a naval base. Big disappointment there, my father is the only son. My parents wanted a boy, but hey life never goes like you want it to. So we moved to the US to fulfill my parents' dreams of having a boy. And hey I have a brother. Dream fulfilled.

It is the only thing which remained in pandora's box, hope. Life can suck a big one, but it's what you make of the lemons that matters the most.

To quote Oscar Wilde, "we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars."

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