by Dan Hartshorn

Created on: February 13, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

Feeling the Valentine's Day pressure guys? Afraid she wants what's in your heart instead of a last-minute gift emblazoned with hearts? If your idea of a romantic Valentine present is a gift certificate, be scared. You've got some work to do.

Actually, it isn't all that difficult once you understand a few key ideas. First, your precious lady isn't going to be too thrilled with your bouquet of roses. Sure, she loves roses, but save it for the next time you're in the in dog house. Or consider them icing on the cake of your creative genius.

Next, let's talk chocolates. If you're going to try that angle, you're not without hope. But please avoid the on-the-way-home drug store grab. Instead, splurge a little on some really good chocolate. You can find some, just give it a shot.

So basically stay away from the well-worn path through the grocery store Valentine aisle and use your under-worked mind. If you play your cards right, you'll make her feel cherished and you just might get lucky.

Here are my top five suggestions that might give you a shot at not totally screwing it up this year.

1. If you have some computer skills, put together a simple photo montage of your past as a couple. Add a poem about how lucky you are to be with her.

2. The old coupon book trick is usually a winner. You know, "This is good for one back-rub," one night on the town, one hour of empathetic listening to the blow-by-blow trials of your day. Stuff like that, you know the drill.

3. Arrange for a babysitter and plan a night out. Make some reservations, take her for a long walk. If you can swing it, do an overnight at a local resort or plush hotel. She'll dig it.

4. Secretly take Feb. 14 off from work and return home after she's gone. If she doesn't work, enlist some of her girlfriends to help you get her out of the house. Clean the house. Or even better, hire a cleaning service since they'll do a hell of a better job than you will. Cook dinner, and yes, do it yourself. Find a recipe. Even if it's a disaster, she'll love it. Don't forget the candles and romantic music.

5. Call her boss and arrange for her to have Feb. 14 off. If she's a full-time stay-at-home mom, arrange for child care for the day. Hook her up with a morning at the spa. Massage, manicure, pedicure. Yeah, it'll cost you, but drink less beer that week or something. Whatever you do the rest of the day, flowers, chocolate or just a card, it doesn't really matter. She'll still be glowing from the spa.

If you're a woman who read this far, you're either laughing at my irresistible wit, or shaking your head at just how clueless I am. But, hey, what do you expect? I'm just a guy.

Good luck men! Try and be a little creative this year and make her happy. She's worth it. How do I know? Because she puts up with your crap!

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