"Transparent Facade"

Who gave you my permission?
To hide behind this brick wall?
You're not supposed to be here
Just leave,

I feel sick
panicked
crazed. ..

The irrational parts of me
are screaming,
laughing,
because to them,
I've screwed up, again...
And

I trudge forward,
I am really kind of scared.
Things seem so dark and mysterious,
Yet I feel I've already been there.

A nudging

Lost beyond the darkness,
I peer into the fog.
The smells that swirl around me,
My feet stuck in the bog.

My voice falls dead

My entire life seems an unknown,
not known by me, not known by you.
But I want a life, a love
that's true.

Only the Lord knows