by Gabrielle Difabbio

Created on: October 13, 2009

Marriage is a voluntary union between two people. The key word being "voluntary". Although in theory, marriages are meant to last until death (or so say the marriage vows), the reality is that marriages tend to last until one or both parties decide that the relationship itself has died.

People primarily get divorced for two reasons: (i) marriage is hard and this reality is shocking to some and downright terrifying to others and (ii) most people have unrealistic expectations of both their partners and the marriage itself. The fact that marriage is traditionally seen as the climax of a relationship often leads to great feelings of disappointment. There seems to be an expectation that once marriage is achieved, each individual is "complete" now that they have found their perfect mate. However, as many people are unfortunate enough to find out after it's too late, marriage is not the key to happiness. Marriage is not the key to success. Marriage is not a magic band-aid capable of curing the emotional wounds suffered in a relationship. Rather, marriage is a commitment and a choice. It requires constant work and effort from both parties. It means deciding to love the other person even when those loving feelings start to fade. It means compromise and sacrifice. Not surprisingly, when couples find out just how difficult it is to maintain a relationship, to keep it strong and how hard it is to put their absolute faith and trust in another person, people want out.

It is no secret that the idea and the ideal of marriage has changed dramatically over the years. At one time, marriage was a means to an end. It was the key to having a family, it was a milestone that all people were expected to achieve, it was a way to accomplish financial stability and, perhaps most importantly, it was a way to gain society's, the state's and even God's blessing of a romantic union between two people. Today, the traditional idea of marriage seems to have become obsolete. More and more couples are having children without being married, single people are having children without being married (and some even without having sex), most people strive to seek financial independence rather than dependence on a spouse and society, the law and even religion have adjusted over time in order to recognize a variety of relationships and unions.

Therefore, one might think that because marriage is no longer necessary in order to achieve the goals with which it was once associated, people who choose to

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