by Sabina Jamshed

Created on: October 13, 2009

As soon as the teenage years of children begin approaching, the families tend to confront confusion, stress and conflict. Effective communication with teenagers is becoming difficult day by day. With the advent of technology and trends, teenagers today are able to enjoy more freedom and social skills than their parents could have in the past. These factors have given rise to a major communication gap among parents and their teenage children.

Efforts have to be made by both sides to bridge this communication gap and reconnect. The first most important step in establishing a connection with your teenager is to just simply listen. Listening, although the most ignored factor, plays a vital role in helping your child spill out all that is inside. You will be surprised at all the information your teenager is willing to share. Sit down and share some quality time with them. Lend an ear and feel the difference!

Putting yourself in you teenager's shoes will aid you in understanding the pressure and confusion they are experiencing, just like you did when you were going through the same phase. Taking interests in their activities will help both sides to cope with the pressure of keeping up with the ever changing technology era. Internet has given social networking a new meaning. Teenagers are turning to networks like Facebook or Orkut to socialize. As a parent, it is important that you keep a critical but yet friendly eye on your child's activities in these networks. Keep a look out for suspicious friends. Place the computer, TV and DVD players in a central area of the house where you can bond with them during their favorite activities.

Traveling, camping trips and picnics prove beneficial in bringing the family together. Let your teenager contribute in planning these trips. Showing them that you have faith in them will encourage them to take on responsibilities and will also fulfill their need to act like an adult. Take this time to communicate any boundaries or disciplinary rules without making it seem like a lecture. Be flexible but not too lenient. Set the rules together. Your teenager will appreciate your willingness to accommodate flexibility where possible, hence creating a trustful and friendly bond.

Convey your love to them day and night. Teenagers need to be reminded that you love them no matter what. They need to be told that you have been there and you can provide help and advice due to your experience. Share your personal teenage stories and some of the mistakes you made and what you learned from them. As a teenager, the perfect parents' image seems intimidating and makes it difficult for them to admit their mistakes.

Be firm with your teenager when required. Respecting their elders and the law should be a rule that is never broken. Appreciate and praise your teenagers on their good behavior and achievements. But punishment should be practiced when necessary. This will communicate that your friendly and flexible behavior is still not an invitation to non-disciplinary acts.

Whether you are a parent, teacher or a friend, reconnecting with a teenager can prove to be difficult, challenging and frustrating. The secret to overcoming these hurdles and reconnecting again is exhibiting patience while at the same time overcoming barriers to communication by listening and understanding.

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