by Jesse James

Created on: October 12, 2009   Last Updated: October 14, 2009

My 25th birthday is just a little over a month away. Some days it seems like I should really be somewhere around 45 or so by now. I've had my fair share of drama and events in my rather short life that have taken their toll. I cannot even begin to imagine what I will have under my belt by the time I actually get to 45.

Most of the older, wiser individuals in my life tell me that life doesn't really begin until you're 35. Well, no offense to them, but what exactly have I been doing then? Is this like a dry run or practice round? Do I get to call 'start over' when I hit 35 and dump all the excess baggage and scars I've collected? That'd be great, except I'd probably then revert back to being a teenager. After having the, "been there, done that" experience of my teenage years, I can safely say that I'm not really willing to go back there. So, here I stand, in the middle of my 20s, wondering what is to come.

There seems to be an epidemic of the so-called quarter life crisis these days. So many young adults are having difficulties adjusting to life at this age. Honestly, it's really not that big of a surprise with all of the changes and hurdles that occur in this age period. Many are finishing school, entering the 'real world' with new jobs, new responsibilities, more freedoms and likewise more burdens. Personally, I felt that I was handling this age just fine. I gradually built up my business while I was in college, so by the time I graduated I had my full time job waiting for me. Things were going well for me by the time I was 23. I had a successful, well paying business as a riding instructor. I was renting a house, had my car paid off, had savings and retirement set up. In the moment, I always felt like I was just scraping by, but looking back I can see how good I had it.

Now, fast forward 2 years to where I'm looking at life from. I'm divorced after only a year of marriage. I've lost a dear friend to terminal cancer. I lost nearly all of my business due to a failed friendship. Likewise, I have nearly no money left due to loss of business and having to support a spouse who could not find work. I've read that the biggest three causes of stress in life are loss of a close person, loss of a job and loss of a relationship. Well, I've got them all in the bag. Needless to say, I look at life a little differently these days.

So, now here I sit, mulling over my experiences and wondering what the future has in store. The wisdom of my older friends now starts to make some sense. Life obviously is happening in the 20s; in fact it's happening in a big way. I think most of the big first dramatic experiences happen in the 20s. Through these experiences, we learn and grow much more than in the past. They allow us to form who we are and who we are going to be in the future. With these hurdles behind us, the 30s become a little smoother and create a little more enjoyment, and fewer dramatic learning curves.

Back to counting down the days to 25; or should I be counting up to 35? As much as these years may be rough, I would not trade or pass them up for anything. Yes, they will be hard, and I'm sure I have many more challenges to come. But with each adventure I can feel some more power light up inside of me. I can easily say I'm a much stronger person now than ever, and it's a nice feeling. When things get bumpy, just remember a bit of wisdom, "Life's problems wouldn't be called 'hurdles' if there wasn't a way to get over them".

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