by S.E. Ingraham

Created on: October 12, 2009

Fear of Losing One's Mind

Panic first creeps insidiously

Then gallops recklessly

Through my veins

Leaping brainy synapses

Ignoring disconnections

Without pause or hesitation

And racing thoughts outrun

My heart's rapidity

Almost

Almost, as cords

grow taut

in my neck

Breaths shorten

in my chest

This pace will kill me

I'm sure

And still I fear

it won't.

What should I,

shall I, do?

Would anything,

will anything

Make a difference?

Improve the situation?

Or failing that,

at least,

Change things

How can I

calm myself?

Collect my

scattered, frenzied

unrecognizable thoughts

And pin them

with butterfly-collector's

dispassion -

Cruelty even...

Hold them together

Keep them

Still

Almost Six Weeks Later

Still straddling the lip

Of the abyss

After brief spates when

Both legs were outside

the bottomless bowl

And some lengthier periods

Much, much lengthier

Periods

When they dangled

limply inside

Twitching to jump,

Or at least push off

But always,

Fearful of the

unknown vastness

End up clinging

with simian tenacity

To the infinite known sadness

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