by Miravanni

Created on: October 12, 2009

So I am taking time off, from well not being last anymore. For some reason everyone seems to think I need to find myself again. Usually the advice I give my friends who still haven't found their own feet yet. I hate when people use my own advice against me. Like seriously,it does not apply for every situation. So here it is, I survived losing half my family,my Mother, Having a child Alone, Marrying the one, Having two toddlers and never sleeping again, Serious Deadly day to day food allergy with my kids, and now separation. The funny thing is, I know who I am or I would have never lived through all these things. It's everyone else that is the problem.

I always knew who I was with unwavering certainty unfortunately not my husband, well not so much. I am not even angry at him which is how I know that it's over. When we got married and Made promises on that beach I knew exactly what I was signing myself up for, I have done all those things and more. He just didn't. How can a promise or a relationship survive when the other person just entertains the idea of me, an Italian wife but doesn't understand that it's a culture being an Italian husband it is not just going to work and coming home.When I was a child my parents and grandparents told me to Marry an Italian man or you will never be happy,till now I never really understood what that meant, it was never the Italian part they wanted me to have ingrained it was the family part. family comes first, that you make friends that become family and life is what you make it.All the cliches like ''it's who you lock your doors with at night are the most important people"are life lessons that they were handing down. Not work, not friends, not your parents when you get married it's you and your husband and kids and in that order and everything falls into place. A healthy family will care for itself and be cared for. I really thought he saw me, I thought he saw past all the cliche's I desperately wanted to avoid, my whole life I was terrified of becoming my mother because she never knew how to stand on her own to feet with out stepping on everyone else's.It ended 3 of her marriages and drove my own sweet kind good hearted dad away maybe forever. I went my own way, and never once questioned whether the things I believed and wanted for myself were real and attainable. See I always knew because can't is not in my vocabulary.

It was intoxicating for my husband to be around someone like me, someone who just knew exactly what she

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>