by Melvin Palmer

Created on: October 12, 2009   Last Updated: October 13, 2009

Being likable is easy to do. Changing your focus from yourself to other people will bring them into your life. Attending to what others have to say, remembering their name and being pleasant results in people liking you. This will take motivation on your part to change some of the behaviors you have. If you are too quiet or self indulgent developing these habits will begin to bring friends into your life.

Be truly interested in what people have to say. Asking questions about their lives, work and opinions makes them feel important. Nodding your head, getting eye contact and verbally recognizing how smart they are, brings the best out of you and them.

Using names of people make them feel important and recognized. When introduced to someone, use his or her name right away. Use it again when you ask your first question about them. If may feel a little odd but soon it will become natural. I find this technique a great way to remember people's names. I used to constantly and immediately forget names of individuals I was introduced to.

Smile. Turn that frown upside down. Smiling, nodding your head and saying yes are very pleasant activities. In fact your face looks younger and better when it has a smile. A slight smile actually relaxes the face muscles. There is nothing like a smile that tells people, non-verbally, I am in a peaceful place.

Listen to what the other person has to say. Ask questions that probe and fetter out exactly what they are attempting to articulate. Paraphrase what they are saying and ask them if that is what they mean. If you perceive them going in a certain direction, ask leading questions.

Elevate their status. In your mind play a little game. Make them the most important person in the room for the moment. This technique has the effect of intensifying your focus on them and has a profound effect. When this happens with each person you talk to they are naturally attracted to you.

Each of these principles will lead you into relationships in which you are liked and admired for your intelligence. Being liked doesn't always come naturally. Whether you have to learn all of these practices or already have a few in your behavioral repertoire, it takes effort. With time these positive characteristics become a part of you and your powerful, likable personality.

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