by Taryn Wilkinson

Created on: October 12, 2009   Last Updated: October 29, 2009

I believe that this is a very interesting topic to write about. Let me give you a little background information on myself first. As a person who has a few failed relationships, I always think about things that have gone wrong and why those things happened. I just got out of an engagement of one year. He was and still is the love of my life, but as it seems, life had a very different path than the one I thought I was on. It took me down a dark and lonely path.

Long before my ex fiance, my mother was in an abusive relationship with a man. This man, to nicely put it, was the devil. He liked to put everyone down emotionally, he was physically abusive, and just loved to have power over people. For years, I stayed in that house from when he came into our lives at my age of 13 and when my mom left him at my age of 21. It was an ongoing battlefield in that house. He always yelled, always scared us, we pretty much starved because he refused to work and always ate our food. Since this person was thrown in our lives till the day he was ripped out, I went through an emotional battle. I had little to no self esteem, I tried to commit suicide multiple times, I was in a loveless relationship. It seemed that nothing was going right for me.

While this person is no longer in my life, he still has a great impact on me. When I met my ex fiance, I had an ongoing battle with myself and I even thought that I didn't deserved to be loved by this person. I left and came back many times over and he always took me back with open arms. He loved me like no one else has. He touched me like no one else has. He is and will always be that love of my life. During our relationship, I had trusting issues. I was afraid of loud noises and going out in large crowds. I always felt like the walls were closing in on me and I started to shake really badly. We had a hard time going anywhere because of this. I ran into extreme health problems. My ex fiance was always worried about me, he always had to watch what he said and was always careful not to upset me because of my temper. Since during my mom's horrible relationship, I was always the one taking care of the family. Which made my ex fiance very upset. I wouldn't have much time for him and I would cancel plans to help someone in my family that needed me. In the end, my problems are many of the reasons we are no longer together. I believe that everything happens for a reason but sometimes when you are the reason that it fails, it hurts everyday. Knowing

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