by Linda Sajiw

Created on: October 11, 2009

Fall in love with yourself. Now I don't mean ego-puffery here; I mean really love yourself. That means everything. Be willing to go the distance in your life to discover who you are and why you're here. Realize "knowing" who you are, is a thing of the heart, not the head.

In Truth, who we are is love. Due to stresses in life, abusive, dysfunctional early childhood environments and beliefs about love we take on from society we can forget this. In the "forgetting," we may look to a potential partner to fill us up with the love we never got as a child or have very distorted views about love that make us go off center in our relationships.

We may have blinders on in choosing a partner because we don't want to feel deeper or really "see" those hidden aspects of ourselves that aren't so pretty. In this case we will deflect true love relationship because we are used to doing so in order to be safe. It takes a great deal of control to create security. This is a false sense of security though, and we end up living from a fear base unconsciously expecting a partner to protect us or unconsciously attacking whatever is perceived as a threat to our false identity.

We will also deflect that which is nourishing to us. When we are in this place of fear we hand our power over to someone that will take us away from having to go beyond this fixed way of being. We give them the responsibility for giving us freedom. Again this freedom will be false because it depends on someone accepting us for who we are. If we don't "know" who we are then we will attract someone at the same level of insecurity that we have.

We will attract to us wherever we are in consciousness. If we want someone to fall in love with us we must be doing the "heart work" to transform our hidden fears. This means facing our fear of feeling emotions and other sensations that are uncomfortable. There are so many courses that teach us to go beyond our fears by doing activities like walking on hot coals or busting boards with our hands, etc. I have to say that doing those activities do have value but they are not the whole picture for getting us to face our fears.

It is also important to be transmuting the fear in our feeling body in relationship. We develop our own voice in the world when we do so. To be fully present speaking your own truth from your heart instead of regurgitating some teaching from a guru in a workshop or book can be just as scary as doing those physical activities to show power. In fact speaking

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>