by Belinda Long

Created on: October 09, 2009

Your gifted child is a child despite his or her high intelligence.

This is the most important thing to remember when trying to draw the line between nurturing and pressuring. It is also the most commonly forgotten fact among gifted families. You are not a bad parent if you have mistakenly been crossing that line. Many of us take our parenting cues from our children. So if a child learns at a rapid rate and seems to be okay without our constant supervision, we will naturally respond accordingly. If a child has an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, we want to provide him or her with the information he or she seeks. These factors make it difficult for parents of gifted children to find the line between nurture and pressure. So how do you draw the line? Below I will list some common mistakes made in gifted families and how to rectify those mistakes.

*Little Adult Assumption

Gifted children thirst for knowledge. They learn fast and tend to understand more. This often allows parents to answer "loaded" or mature questions with a less cushioned answer. In other words, we tend to tell our gifted children the whole, brutal truth where our answer would be much more screened with a child of average intelligence and because we know our gifted child thirsts for knowledge, we sometimes give detailed answers that our gifted child isn't emotionally ready for. For example: A gifted child may hear of the H1N1 flu and be able to understand the dynamics of the illness, such as why it is dangerous and who is at risk. However, telling that child how many people have died from it is too much information. The child may have a concept of death, but doesn't fully understand it emotionally and these details are most likely going to frighten him or her.

It is natural to share more information with a gifted child. They easily seem to drift into the world of adults because they understand and are often more understood in that world. However, their emotional maturity is not at an adult level. When faced with questions that have answers that are difficult or scary, remember that your child may be highly intelligent, but still has all the fears and insecurities of any other child. Answer his or her questions with facts and encourage him or her to learn ways to perhaps prevent getting the flu rather than details about what is happening to those who have gotten it.

*Our gifted child doesn't need us.

This statement would sound bizarre to most parents. If you are parenting a gifted child however,

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