by Midniyt Blue

Created on: October 09, 2009

Don't have an Ipod? Don't need an Ipod? Or do you not want an Ipod? Regardless, Welcome to Ipod America. Lately Ipods are synonymous with mp3 player, video player, entertainment, phone, shoe-lace tier (made that one up). Just like everyone has a cell-phone, everyone has an Ipod. It's the thing that you have and it's the thing that's cool to have. So what do you do if by some horrific circumstance, you don't have one?

1. Read a book. In other words, be perfectly content without an Ipod because you, my friend, are above the need for this gadget. You don't need something that puts all your audio (or video, pictures, notes, email, shoelaces...) all in one place. You don't need something that lets you take it places. And you don't care how much it adds to your cool factor. You are apparently already cool.

2. Save. This if you are not as cool as the person in number one and you want an Ipod. Save. Eat ramen. Shop less. Talk to your teddy bear to avoid therapy bills. Stop texting so much. Cook. Then when you hit the lucky number, buy your Ipod and join the rest of America in spending.

3. If you think you're too cool for an Ipod but you're not as aloof as person number 1, consider alternatives. Many of these alternatives to be honest are cheaper and have longer lifespans. Some are also more expensive and worse. Get a Zune. Or a Zen. Sansa is looking pretty cool lately too. Or head to Ebay and grab up a fake but improved IPhone. But most importantly, do your research. Amazon reviews are a great tool if you know how to use them.

4. Get a Netbook. You can get a laptop, but say you like the portability of Ipods. Get a Netbook. Audio, pictures, videos, Internet, everything the Iphone offers with a bit more and a larger package. But you can do more. Sure you can't call people, or can you? Lately there's VOIP and Skype and the like.

5. If you're in the process of number two, and you really aren't person number one, and you really do want all that Ipods offer, here is a sub-lack of Ipod survival guide.

1. Go old-school. That's right, dig out that old boombox. You can also wear sweat pants if you want but... that's your call. Just don't link it back to me.

2. Sit next to people who set THEIR Ipods obnoxiously loud and leech off their investment. Hey, they offered it when no one asked so you might as well.

3. Become a hermit. Hey, all your media is in one place at home (usually).

4. Write. That's right (hah). Everything that goes through your head, write it down. You would

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