by Ramona Taylor

Created on: October 09, 2009   Last Updated: December 12, 2009

More than a million divorces occur each year! Many people look at actions as causes. Fidelity, poor communication, social immaturity, finances, religion, and sex are believed to be the primary causes for the majority of divorces in America. Even such issues as addiction, abuse (physical, mental or sexual), changes in family dynamics, and mental health are considered reasons. However, these are not causes. These are justifications for divorce. People divorce because they realize that they do not want to remain in an unhappy and unsatifying relationship.

The fundamental cause of rising divorce rates rests with judgment. Couples believe the fraud of dating and don't look beyond the instant and sometimes obsessive attractions to others of the opposite sex. People get caught up and the miraculous and wonderful sensations of love and intimacy and believe that these two things are enough to create a successful marriage.

Men and women ignore simple signs. They ignore irritating habits - such as not washing dishes and subtle negative actions such as vailed criticisms. These captive hearts marry. After the afterglow of confetti and honeymoons wear off, a couple is left with the realization that marriages are more about living together, communication, and compromise.

Unanticipated issues such as debt, financial insecurity, children, fun expected familial burdens, such as caring for ailing parents, and unequal career goals tests the durability of a relationship and couples question their compatibility. Love is replaced with loathing. Romance is replaced with resentment. Affection is superseded by aggression. Regardless, while each of these reasons contributes to divorce, they are not so dissimilar when one considers that they are rooted in a fundamental inability of a couple to appropriately and positively interact emotionally and physically.

Not one single reason prompts a couple to seek divorce; however, any one thing, such as infidelty, can erode a spouse's desire to remain in a committed relationship. The road to divorce is paved with intolerance of continued shortcomings in the marital relationship and disinterest in working through issues.

The path to preventing divorce must involve the ability to forgive, mutual respect, and a desire to work through disappointments. Marital breakdowns and divorces bog down our judicial system and often go beyond merely private matters. Divorce leads to more than the termination of a spousal relationship. Divorce leads to the potential breakdown of parent-child relationships, unexpected burdens on the state coffers, and unanticipated burdens on our courts. However, the key in preventing divorce is taking time and knowing ones partner prior to marriage.

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