by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: October 08, 2009

When a loved one dies, those who are left behind will go through a necessary, but painful, time of mourning and grief that will put them on the path toward healing. There is no one way to get through this time that is right for every person. We are all different and we will heal in different manners and different times. For some, it will be a very long process, while there will be others that will get through the grieving process much faster, but possibly with more intensity to the feelings of pain and mourning.

Dealing with the death of a loved one usually begins at the notification of the loss. Whether it was anticipated or not, the finality of death often brings us to an initial place of shock and possibly even denial. It is something that we never comprehended fully and there is so much that we will never know until we are there ourselves. It is frightening in a way simply because it is so fully foreign and unknown to us as we live. Eventually, though, the full impact will set in and the pain is usually stabbing and sharp when it does.

Although it may not seem like it would be the case, it is often a blessing that there is much to be done in the time immediately following the death of a loved one. There is planning for their funeral and burial and settling of the estate to be taken care of. This, often mercifully, falls on the shoulders of those who are grieving the hardest. It might be able to occupy their minds in a time when there is such pain and aching to be filling it instead. Still, though, there is only so long that the busy work will go on and then the emotional work of mourning will be waiting to be had.

As the mourning begins in earnest, there will be many different stages that the grief-stricken people may go through. There is denial, sadness, anger, intense depression, hopelessness, disillusionment, and others. Some people will go through each phase, while others may go through only a couple. Some people will go through each phase once, but some will get through one, then another, then enter the first one again. There is no map or instruction book for grieving. It is a very personal thing and although it can be shared to some extent, there is so much that will be done alone in the heart of one person as they learn to face and move on from the loss of another person that they loved and cared about.

Learn more about this author, Victoria Tiegert.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.