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Fear of commitment in women: Reasons behind the phobia

by L. Landrum

Created on: October 08, 2009   Last Updated: October 09, 2009

Women who have a fear of commitment generally have this fear from past experiences. The problem with this is you cannot compare Joe Blow from before to Mr. X that you are with now.

These fears however are not unwarranted. Many women have had enough experiences with commitment issues from the man that she too may be letting off some of these unwanted fears.

There are many reasons for a woman to have a fear of commitment and the number one reason is, children. If a woman has children she may not want another "father" in their life. She may not want someone else disciplining her children.

There are also the numerous other things, such as she may have had a "man" in the past who started off great and then turned into the couch potato and quit working. She may have a fear of "having to take care of someone else again". Then again she may not want to share what she has worked so hard for.

As we know most states are "community" property states and any person who has worked hard and has nice things does not want to be in a position to give away "half" of what they worked for.

You also have issues with the man's family, many times the Man's family does not like or care for the "New woman" and she feels that.

There could also be the flip side that her family does not like him, or that he has children that still live at home and she does not want to "raise" kids again.

Another big issue that women seem to run into more than men is the "EX" problem. He still has someone who wants him, thus her tires are slashed, she is harassed etc.

You will mostly find this fear in older women as they have lived and know the ups and downs of a real commitment. With society the way it is, women have taken the reign of their own lives and are not looking for someone to take care of them. They are looking for a joint 50/50 relationship.

If a women has dealt with a drinker before she will get real leery if the new man even has a beer. Women are always on guard and waiting for the shoe to drop. Really you can't blame them.

The fear of commitment will disappear once she knows that Mr. X is in it for the long haul too and can deal with the ups and downs of the relationship. Women are communicators and want the same.

It is not a phobia, but a real deep seated fear because of what has already happened in her life. If a man really wants to be with her he will allow for this and reassure her to get her through this fear.

Learn more about this author, L. Landrum.
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