by Siobhan Watts

Created on: October 07, 2009

I realised I was a parent when I brought my first child home..hmmm no I didn't, it didn't happen then, what actually happened was I got home with Tom laid him on my bed rang my Mum and said What do I do now?. Nope, it wasn't then. It wasn't when every time I put my hand in my pocket I found amongst the usual accumulated detritus the solitary baby sock or the crumpled baby wipe that I had shoved in my pocket for expediency. Neither was it the time Tom first slept through the night and I shot awake at 8.00am leapt to his room at a rate that would make the most supercilious of cheetahs mildly impressed because I was convinced he had died. Obviously he hadn't, he was just asleep, but I will never forget the heart thudding fear as I cleared the bedroom in one bound and snatched him up. Needless to say Tom was not happy and vocalised his displeasure at optimum decibel level.

Perhaps I realised I was a parent when I came home with Catherine and found that I could push a buggy, read a shopping list, calculate which brand of toilet roll offered better value for money whilst still able to prevent a toddler shoving all the sweets and cookies he could reach into my trolley as well as in the baskets of other unsuspecting or equally distracted shoppers. Was I a parent then? No, I was definitely a Mum but a parent? Not quite, not yet.

Along came my third child, Gideon, with a 12 year age gap between him and his brother and 8 years between him and Catherine, I then knew that no matter how much I tried to convince myself that my boobs did not drop 4 inches when I took my bra off or that my jelly belly would soon go I was undeniably a mother complete with a stash of chocolate, wine and cigarettes hidden in a strategic location somewhere in the house. My idea of a good night is to be in bed by 10pm and asleep by 10.03 pm! A nice meal out is Pizza Hut (you can take the kids and its not expensive) and if I can get a free adult entry with every child ticket to the cinema then hell yeah I will sit through some CGI creation hoping it will be really bad and I can sleep without anyone noticing.

So, did that make me a fully paid up member of the Parent Club? Possibly but I actually realised that I had become a member before I had Gideon, I was still at work with only a few weeks to go before I left to go on maternity leave, when a young junior colleague came up to me and started talking about her exploits on holiday. It was a typical single girl's holiday and she wasn't as sensible

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