by Karon Brandt

Created on: October 07, 2009   Last Updated: November 24, 2009

Nothing is perfect. Any woman who seeks perfection in a relationship or any one person is doomed to failure from the start.

You, yourself, are one half of the equation, and you are the half that you have control over. You have to first know who you are and what you want from life.

What do you really want from a long-term relationship with a man? That's the point of "dating" and "trying out" different relationships; it helps you to discover and re-create yourself.

Is a "companion" enough? Do you want an "escort" in life while you fulfill some short-term goals or personal needs like world travel or advanced education?

Is a "friend" enough? That usually implies a "confidante," someone who shares more than time with the other person. Even for a long-term friendship to endure, most people want to share some core values, beliefs, and respect for each other.

Is "significant other" enough? This implies a friendship, possibly "with benefits," and requires trust to make a relationship work on a deeper level.

At some point in time, you will probably want a monogamous relationship that results in marriage.

Getting past impossible expectations will go a long way towards finding the "right" man for you. If you want commitment, you must organize your thoughts and priorities. You must set realistic expectations of yourself and your "significant other" if you want a working, complementary, long-term relationship.

Because of biological needs, most women look for a dependable, strong, reliable mate when they look over a pool of eligible men. You might think one date is simply "for fun," and you might even be willing to pay your own way, but after investing enough quality-time in a relationship, you are usually looking for a marriage-partner.

What are you looking for? Are you "looking for love" in all the right places? Are you looking for a mature, ready-to-settle-down man who has the same goals in mind as you? Do you both want children? Do you have the same religious and political beliefs? Do you enjoy the same kind of humor, world-views, and ideas of what's fun?

If you aren't into golfing and he spends 2/3 of his spare time on a golf course, you are asking to be a "golf widow" from the start. You can't go into a serious relationship with the idea that you are going to do a complete "makeover" and fit him into a mold that will satisfy your own expectations.

Which brings the ball back into your court. Don't expect "perfection" and then feel deep disappointment when that doesn't

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