by Jeff Charlebois

Created on: October 07, 2009   Last Updated: October 09, 2009

With the divorce rate over fifty percent, should people get married? I say, why not? What the hell else is there to do?

Really...What else is there to do? You can't play football your whole life (I don't care how big a girl you are). You can't hit the bars every night. (Man, your liver needs a holiday, too). People are lonely creatures. More than that, we all need someone to fight with, yell at and humiliate. It's just part of who we are.

You can't even pretend to be married. Without that piece of paper and those vows there's no way anybody would continue to put up with a partner in that type of setting. When you're dating or living together there's always an escape route. (Running out for a pack of smokes and never returning is an all time favorite. Even if you don't smoke, it works. You just can't top the classics.) Living together simply gives you no reason to stay and fight and that's what marriage is all about dishing it out and taking it from your spouse. When I got married I started sleeping around. I'd sleep on the couch, in the garage, the dog house it just depended how mad she was.

A lot of women need a sign before they get married it's called a dollar sign. That's right, women like a man who has money. I never see the hot babe flirting with the panhandler. Will marry for food is never a good sign even if the words are spelled correctly. Women like the little things in a mana job, a bank account an expensive car. Men, on the other hand, are simple beasts. They like a semi-hot meal and that special someone to bring the roof down in the bedroom. They can't go wrong with a nymphomaniac chef. However, after that wears off they're left singing Is That All There Is?

A man had better be prepared to work when he gets married and I don't mean a real job, although he'd better have that. All the things he'd once become used to putting off (like taking out the trash, cutting the lawn, putting his dish in the dishwasher)well, that party's over. That dirty sock in the corner no longer becomes a decoration. Football games must now wait until the chores are done and incidentally, men, the chores are never done.

Men are happy when their wives are happy. That usually means their households will be calm and they're not going to be ripped apart for not doing something they were supposed to do. Women, on the other hand, do not want their men happy unless they are happy. If a woman feels miserable, her man had better feel the same way, and if he doesn't she'll do every

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