by Gavin Wyatt

Created on: October 07, 2009

My wife's humor patterns have always been a mystery to me. As we dated, I felt like I comedically I couldn't miss as every word I spoke was brilliant. Every thought was profound. She would fall asleep in my arms listening to stories I had accrued during my long nineteen years on this rock we call Earth. "You are devilish" she would exclaim as I recounted the latest story. Well, maybe it was never that good, but I would pride myself on being able to make her laugh. Either way, it worked and we were married. That is when I realized it wasn't always going to be so easy.

Romance had started to morph into three kids, a dog, a mortgage, and car payments......I should stop there but I can't. Midnight vomiting, gas bills, broken pipes, school tuitions, newspaper/water/gas/pool/gardener guy Christmas presents. Even in the midst of all this "life", I would still desperately try to make her laugh with varied success. I heard a comedian named Ralph Garmin working on the Kevin and Bean radio show on KROQ 106.7FM exclaim his dating motto "make her laugh, make her breakfast". Women feel closer to there partner when they are able to laugh together.

I have recently had a breakthrough with my wife! I have realized that she, and many women out there like a certain type of comedy. As God would have it, the humor that I find funny could not be further from the type of humor my wife finds funny. It is not my classic cynical whitty banter that she likes. It is not my slapstick/fart humor. (even though I pride myself on still getting a good laugh out of my wife every once in a while during a good fart joke!) I am announcing my new findings on this not so rare, but highly unpredictable species called women to the world. Women love the embarrassing humor!

It cracked you up when Ross on Friends couldn't get his pants up because they were leather and his legs were too sweaty on a date (fumbling in the restroom, he douses himself in powder and somehow clogs a toilet? I don't remember the details! You ladies love when in classic (fill in the blank) romantic comedy the evil hag that you hate will always end up in the wedding cake! You know it is coming, but you ladies eat it up, spoon and fork.

I had talked my wife into playing tennis with me one fine morning, and after calling a friend and his wife, we had four. We had never played tennis together before so we played easy so that it was fun for everybody. The "half-speed approach" did not help my game . I was dropping everything right into the net, or blasting them over the 30 foot high chain link fencing surrounding the court. Now, I am a horrible tennis player, but I was apologetically explaining that I can play much better than I was showing them at that moment. I then gave a sarcastic "When I play with the guys, I Get the eye of the tiger" as I tried to make a cool guy move. Dropping a ball into mid air and winding for the strike, I swung my racquet. Instead of looking manly, my shoulder dragged a little as my arm came forward like a sassy 8 year old swinging her mom's purse at her younger sister. The swing came out of nowhere causing me to strike the top of the ball, sending it blasting off of the pavement below me and shooting right back into my face. This made her laugh like I had not seen in years!

I have now realized that I will still have the power to make her laugh, but more and more, it will be at my expense.

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