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Some children do not have both parents. It is often viewed as a negative thing but what about those who do have a relationship with both of their parents but are negatively affected by the relationships those parents have with each other? It happens all of the time. With adoptive parents and step-parents, there is not much difference, either. There is no way to deny that the relationship between father and mother affects children.

Children learn how to speak from their parents. They observe the way their parents speak to each other. They also observe the way their parents speak about each other, especially when it is to the actual child or even just directly in their presence. Children observe how other people relate to and perceive their parents. When the communication between father and other is not edifying, they become at war with each other, one having to be good and right and the other bad and wrong. All the while, they are supposed to be a team. The child is a witness to this and perceives it. The child feels a need to choose a side or lose. The child feels a desire to protect the parent who is attacked verbally, the underdog or to prove correct the parent who has the strongest argument, who will carry them to victory. The child may also have a desire to please, as well.

The scenario that I have just presented is one that is a common occurrence in many households. I have explained how the communication between two parents can affect their children in a negative way. Yet, when the parents use positive words and communicate to understand rather than to fight or be the one who is right, when the two parents keep in perspective that they are a united front who absolutely must hold each other up if they want to stay up and stay together, when the two realize the role that they play in their child(ren)'s learning process in regard to speech and communication, it has the opposite effect than what I elaborated on above.

The impact of their parents' relationship also hits a child when it comes to their relationships with their parents as a unit and individually. How can a child not learn to use derogatory terms to describe a parent when their other parent uses those words describing them that way, their own spouse? Even if the child never uses the same language, it's somewhere in their mind. Also, why would a child trust a parent and go to enjoy a spontaneous breakfast with them at a restaurant when their other parent is constantly speaking of their own negative

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