by Chris Olsen

Created on: October 07, 2009

Anyone in the world will tell you how difficult it is not to be happy and gleeful after someone breaks up with you, regardless if your a man or woman. I've been told that everyone experiences heartache; it's just a fact of life they say. Does it always have to be that way? Is that something that should really make you feel good about yourself? I don't think so, at least not for me.

I know many people who experience heartache and heartbreak constantly, others seem to be immune. The bottom line is that not everybody can find true happiness in the romance/love department and be happily married for a lifetime, although I know many people who are. For some people, it may seem like a lifetime before they find that special someone, and others don't find it at all. In reality every situation is different, but also, it's important to know that you're never the only one who feels the way you do after your heart's been shattered into a million pieces.

As I said, you're never alone in how you feel. Even though you may feel like no can understand the pain you go through, you will be surprised how many people of both sexes have experienced something similar. Maybe not exactly the same, but surprisingly similar. In my case, my entire relationship history is littered with pain and heartbreak; there are times when I have trouble imagining true happiness with someone, especially being single. However, because I'm all too familiar with the pain of a broken heart, I can provide excellent ways to not beat yourself into oblivion when you feel like no one will ever love you.

First and foremost, you have to realize that everyone is different and unique. What one guy/girl finds sexy and very attractive, another person finds repulsive. What is desirable to one may not be so to another. One thing that I know for a fact is that if you love yourself and are happy with who you are, others will, too. You must always be yourself.

I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. If it's not meant to be, it's not to be. You meet the people in your life for a reason. Whatever happens to you whether it be bad or good, you must believe that there's a reason why it happened. We are all humans; we all make mistakes. The trick is if we can learn and grow from those mistakes, hoping not to make the same mistakes again, although I find myself doing so at times and I know I'm not alone here.

There was a period of time in my life that I thought my heart had been shattered so many times that there's no place for love in it anymore. I met an incredible girl who I knew would be perfect for me and she made me want to love and with her, I experienced what true happiness feels like, if only for a little while. The brief moments I felt a powerful connection meant the world to me. Long story short, she wasn't looking for a relationship and just wanted to remain friends, which we are to this day. As much as I wanted to be in a romantic relationship with her, just knowing we have each other's friendship is a blessing in itself.

To my fellow brokenhearted readers, we can't say for certain if we can find love again or experience the joy and exuberance that many happy couples feel, but that's not to say that the world's at end. We still live and breathe and have so much to offer someone else. To men and women, guys and girls alike, we all have something to give. We have the power to take the pain and sorrow and redirect it toward something positive and give the gift of love that the recipient will never receive from anybody else. Hang in there, and we can all find true happiness. Conversely, doesn't single life have it's advantages, too?

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