by Robert P. Herbst

Created on: February 12, 2007   Last Updated: May 04, 2007

German pizza

About a month ago my friend Yodar Hoopelhoffer mentioned, during our morning coffee, he and Walley Turkey from Worsbrough Dale, England had decided to open a Pizza Parlor. Although Walley and Yodar aren't really the brightest of lights it was a worthy dream and I openly encouraged both of them to move ahead with their idea as quickly as possible.

Then just last week the boys told me they had rented an ideal location for their Pizza Parlor and had decided to make German Pizza as a featured item. "German Pizza?" I thought, "Just how does one make a German Pizza?" The question puzzled me and kept me awake half the night. The next day I asked Yodar what he thought went into the making of a German Pizza.
Yodar was somewhat elusive about the details, but he did mention he intended to use Pumpernickel dough to form the crust of the Pizza and would be relying heavily on Caraway Seeds for flavor. Beyond this he only mentioned the cheese and I couldn't get the kind of cheese he intended to use out of him. All he would do is to smile and say, "It's a secret."
Every restaurant needs some sort of secret dish to gain notoriety. So his keeping the secret seemed quite normal. Yodar and Walley had rented a place in the next block and I could see the front of their place from my little shop on the corner of Green and Jefferson Streets. I had to wonder as trucks with German names on them began to stop in front of their store. They appeared to be quite serious about selling German Pizza.
As Yodar had told me, "Hoopelhoffer is a German name so what would be more natural than for me to open a German Pizza Parlor?" Exactly where Walley Turkey fit into the German structure of Yodar's idea still mystified me. Although Turkey aptly described Walley, it wasn't necessarily a German name. Anyhow, the boys were having great fun with their new venture so who was I to try to ruin their plans?
The big day was soon to arrive and both Yodar and Walley made sure all their friends were on the guest list. Aside from myself, the other guests were, Sue A. Cidal, Perry Noid and Skitso Frenik along with some minor politicians looking for a hand out. There were many others, frankly, I think they just copied a page or two out of the phone book and invited everyone listed on them. All the other guests last names began with an "S".
As I mingled with the crowd of guests, something I will do only for a good friend. I became conscious of a strange smell in the air. I pulled Walley aside and asked

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