by Karen Dawkins

Created on: October 06, 2009   Last Updated: October 08, 2009

An important role for parents is to instruct our kids to be respectful, honest, and generally nice - to one another and to us. We expect occasional lapses in respect, honesty and kindness - after all, childhood is for learning and growing. What do we do, though, when a child resists being respectful, honest or kind?

If, after trying correction, redirection, discipline, prayer - with the child and for the child, teaching scripture - literally everything we can think of to train up this child in the right ways - the behavior persists, what do we do? Sometimes, a child has no qualms about taunting for absolutely no reason. Some children lie without any hesitation and refuse to admit wrongs... even with concrete evidence of the wrongdoing! Sometimes, they just don't go the direction they should.

As a Christian parent, the goal is not to gain confessions. The goal is to teach right from wrong, and to help the child grow to be "more like Jesus." Usually, the child understands and admits the wrong and wants to apologize. A heart grown more wise, more thoughtful, more considerate of others. A spirit more like Christ than it had been. Yet some children resist such instruction. What is God trying to accomplish through this? Is there a lesson for the child to learn? Or for me? I do know:

1. I will continue to discipline. I won't give in. Why? Because children need to grow up to know the ways of the Lord. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he grows old he will not depart from it." No matter how tough the situation, my role as parent never changes. God wants me to train my children to live in His way, according to His word. Nothing more. Certainly, nothing less.

2. I will continue to seek God's wisdom. Ephesians 6:1 says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord..." God calls me to raise my children according to His ways! I can't raise them "in the Lord" if I don't spend time with Him - learning scripture and praying, asking God to show me His ways.

3. I will praise God in the midst of the challenge. Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I say rejoice!" God's Word doesn't say rejoice when life is going good and pitch a fit when you're frustrated. This is tough for me. I like to throw tantrums (figuratively or literally) when things don't go according to my plan. Perhaps God wants me to rejoice more, trust more, believe more... and complain less. Resistant children need to learn so much. God could probably say the same thing about me.

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