by Robert P. Herbst

Created on: February 12, 2007   Last Updated: May 04, 2007

Making alligator borsch

For several years now I have been a member, in good standing, with several lists of men who are, or will shortly be, married to ladies from the Former Soviet Union. Although these people are scattered all over the United States, I have always thought it would be great fun to get a bunch of them together for a good old fashioned dinner.

To this end I have worked tirelessly to arrange some sort of get-together which would peak everyone's interest, both Eastern and local. Up to now, without success.
Recently it occurred to me, Borsch seemed to be a common subject which everyone who had anything to do with one of these ladies, had in common. Unfortunately, there were many different kinds of borsch. Red borsch, green borsch, Chinese borsch, pork borsch, beef borsch, nutria borsch, rabbit borsch, fish borsch, chicken borsch, leftover borsch and last but not in any way the least, the dreaded blue borsch.
There is also the little known tana leaf borsch, three tana leaves to sustain the mummy and nine tana leaves to give life and mobility, but this is another story all together.
I knew if I wanted to get everyone's attention I'd have to come up with something radically different yet tasty enough to get them to come to Mount Perry, Florida, to try it. With this thought in mind I scoured the books of culinary artistry, for a borsch recipe no one had ever heard of. The list went on forever with every conceivable kind of borsch made in every conceivable way.
At long last, while sitting atop a huge pile of cook books, I made up my mind to create a new borsch. One, no one had ever heard of. Now, I scanned the many books for this one missing ingredient and finally found, no one had ever made Alligator Borsch. I had the answer!
I put out a call to all my E-Mail friends, there was to be a gathering of borsch lovers in Mount Perry, Florida, to sample alligator borsch. The response was overwhelming. I got literally thousands of replies from all over the United States. In all about five hundred couples agreed to show up in Mount Perry to try the new borsch.
The next question was one of logistics. I needed a hall where I could comfortably seat one thousand people and which would have a large enough kitchen to make the hundreds of gallons of borsch which would be needed to feed a gathering of this size.
At long last I was able to arrange to have my little gathering at the local National Guard Armory which had the only, covered area, large enough to seat one

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