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You thought your quest for finding love was over. You were in a committed relationship and were looking forward to the upcoming holiday season. You pictured you and your significant other spending cozy evenings by the Christmas tree, attending parties together and exchanging thoughtful gifts. You thought you were "all set."

Then trouble rears its ugly head and a breakup occurs. All your holiday dreams are dashed, and you're now facing the season alone. The holidays are hectic and stressful enough on their own, much less trying to muddle through them after a personal upheaval. How will you get through it all?

Christmas is the ultimate event for spending time with loved ones. It's perfectly natural to want to share all the joyous events with that special someone. And don't forget New Year's Eve - THE party of the year! Now that you're alone, you'd just as soon sit home and wallow in your sorrows instead of being around a lot of happy people. While that may sound tempting, it will only make you feel worse.

Right after the breakup, cry. Listen to your "special song" and cry some more. Pore over old photographs and memories. You need to allow yourself some time to grieve. Get it all out of your system. Then something amazing will happen: shedding those tears will release endorphins in your body, and you'll actually begin to feel better. When that happens it's time to face life again, including all the holiday celebrations.

When you're healing a broken heart, try not to spend too much time alone proverbially licking your wounds. After you've indulged in a period of grief, it's time to move on. Seek the company of family and friends. Plan a day out shopping and sharing lunch with pals. You might find it difficult to motivate yourself to go, but once you do you'll be glad you did. After you make that first step, you'll find the second step is a little easier.

Another way to take your mind off your own troubles is by helping others. Offer to take an elderly neighbor Christmas shopping. Help a relative decorate her Christmas tree. If you're invited to a party, offer to help the hostess by making a dish. In other words, get involved and stay busy!

Helping those less fortunate is another way to help yourself. Call your local DFACS office and ask about adopting a family for Christmas. They'll give you the age and sex of each child in the family you adopt, and they'll give you their clothing sizes. Shopping for the family will get you out of the house and keep your mind

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