by Lorene Troyer

Created on: October 06, 2009

As a wife, one of the best things you can do to strengthen your marriage and intensify your husband's love for you is to help him give you what you want.

Your husband wants to be your hero. He gets pleasure from meeting your needs and desires and if he does not feel like he is successful, he will quit trying and may look to other people to satisfy this need. You may see him helping or buying extravagant gifts for other women in his life-his secretary, his co-worker, or his sister, which may cause you to feel angry, confused, neglected and unloved.

He may mow his mother's lawn even though you've been asking him to mow yours for weeks. Why is this? Often times he is doing the things that help him feel the most appreciated and valued as a man.

It will be hard for him to give you what you desire if he feels like his efforts are not appreciated and that he is not important to you. Maybe he works hard every day with no acknowledgement from you or maybe he's given you gifts in the past and your response was less than favorable.

Practice being appreciative, not only for any gifts he gives you but also for the things he does around the house and the paycheck he brings home. Find something to be thankful for. If he sees that you are excited and pleased with something he's done, he will want to do it again.

You can help him by telling him what you want. Do not assume he knows. When you do this, be tactful and direct. Don't beat around the bush. For example, you may want him to help you with the dishes after dinner. You could either say, "Why don't you ever help me with the dishes?" or you could say, "Honey I know you worked hard today but I would really appreciate your help in the kitchen." If he chooses not to help you, remain gracious but if he does help, be sure to give him a sincere thanks.

*Most men prefer to have their woman "do" less for him and be more grateful for he "does" for her. If you have been working hard to be a good wife, relax and simply enjoy and appreciate what he does for you.

By helping your husband fulfill your desires, you will be meeting one of his most important needs. You will feel treasured and it will increase his feelings of love for you and strengthen your relationship.

*John Gray, What your Mother Couldn't Tell You & Your Father Didn't Know, 306

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