by Elexis Marie

Created on: October 06, 2009   Last Updated: September 10, 2010

The wonderful thing about children is their ability to grasp onto the smallest, most mundane moments and turn them into exciting events. What I think of as a normal walk around the neighborhood, my four-year-old considers an adventure fraught with potential peril and bursting with fascinating new experiences. Her narratives come fast and furious, and the only thing standing between us and a quality afternoon is, well, me.

Spending quality time with kids is a misnomer. It suggests quality as the exception instead of the rule, that there is some kind of “unquality” time that exists to occupy the bulk of our time as parents. Unfortunately, this inevitably leads to a substandard view of parenting: it's usually pretty boring, but sometimes it's OK.

If you want to spend “quality time” with your kids, ditch that idea. Try to see the world through your child's eyes, and look at everything as a possibility for an exciting new adventure. When your child starts chattering about butterflies, sit down and listen. Help her develop the story she's blurting out. You may not be extraordinarily interested in the topic, but the simple act of sitting, listening and contributing will give your child the sense that you're really tuned in.

When the chance for a big Kodak moment comes along, jump on it. These are few and far between, and present a wonderful opportunity for you to make exciting memories. Push aside any outside distractions you have, whether you're not feeling well or upset with your spouse or just really don't want to be wherever you are, and feed off your child's excitement. Your child is going to be enthralled with anything that seems the slightest bit new or unique. Instead of guiding them through a new experience, jump right in with them to see it the way they do.

Finally, don't discount negative moments. A skinned knee isn't only a chance to calm crying, it's an opportunity to teach your child to look on the bright side of things and pick himself up to try again. He'll remember those small times when you encouraged him to continue and build off that “quality time.” The next time he falls, he might pick himself up and keep going instead of running to you right away.

How do you spend quality time with your kid(s)? Embrace the little moments. Make cookies after school. Lie in the grass and ask them what they see in the sky. Help them make up stories about the ants on the sidewalk. All the little moments will come together to become more important than any big, exciting event ever could.

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